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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719510">The Sound and the Fury</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkSplots/pseuds/InkSplots'>InkSplots</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Feigns Deafness, Character Study, Gen, Kind of a Romance, Minor pining, Negan is a Little Gross Sometimes, No Physical Description of OC, Possible Asexual Character, minor medical procedure, open-ended</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:02:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,205</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkSplots/pseuds/InkSplots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Collins has a plan for everything. It's the only thing that kept her alive this long. However, when she is captured by the Saviors, she has to rely on her most daring plan yet to keep her freedom. It's a tricky balance, especially with Negan lurking around. Rated M for language, violence, and adult scenarios, but nothing too graphic. (No relation to the William Faulkner novel.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Negan (Walking Dead) &amp; Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead or any related title, character, plot, setting, etc. These rights are the sole property of Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, AMC, and various publishers and distributors. I own only the original elements in this story, the writing and publishing of which earn me no money.</p><p>Personal Disclaimer: I am not trying to offend anyone of any background with this story. The protagonist pretends to be deaf through most of the events. Characters refer to her as 'deaf' rather than 'hard of hearing' or any other terms. I am fortunate to be friends with a deaf woman and her translator, both of whom have told me very firmly that the proper term is 'deaf'. If this bluntness offends you, I apologize and encourage you to leave this story before you are offended further.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Chapter One</span>
</p>
<p>The camp was well-stocked with supplies of all kinds, but also well-guarded. Fortunately, Collins had a plan.</p>
<p>If Collins had one strength, it was planning. A great deal of her pre-apocalypse life had been spent planning one thing or another, so when the strange stories had started on the news, she had grabbed a few necessary belongings in a light bag and had left her apartment, intent on getting out of crowded Philadelphia.</p>
<p>It had been years since she realized that the world had ended. There was a lot she wished she had done before society collapsed, but there was nothing to do about it now. Instead, Collins focused only on survival. She had been part of a few different groups, doing her best to learn something from each.</p>
<p>Her first group had taught her how to survive. In a world of ever-dwindling supplies, Collins had learned to hunt, prepare, and cook any wild game she found in the sparse forests. She had also learned not to trust people. A woman had come into camp, one of the nicest people Collins had ever met, but she had been bitten before her arrival - despite vowing that she had never gotten close to one of the dead. She had turned late her first night and the group had splintered. Most were dead, and the survivors felt no urge to stay together.</p>
<p>Collins' second group had taught her the value of security. Though they had a number of guns, they had run out of ammunition early on. Collins had learned how to disassemble and clean all of the weapons, even if they weren't operational, and had picked up a few lessons on hand-to-hand fighting from an ex-Marine in the camp. It had been excellent practice, but none of it mattered when a rival group came through to take everything. Most of the group had been killed, but Collins had survived.</p>
<p>Her last group had found Collins wary and untrusting. She had picked up a number of weapons. By this point in the apocalypse, everyone seemed to have found a specialty. Some chose to fight the dead using swords, others chose bows and arrows, still others used large knives or clubs. Collins had even met a man who used a bo staff. Rather than dedicate herself to a single choice, Collins had worked to master every weapon she could. She still struggled with certain types, but she made certain she could handle herself. Of course, all the weapons training in the world could not protect that group when the dead stampeded through the camp. Collins didn't know if there had been any survivors; she had left as soon as she heard the moans.</p>
<p>The last group had been almost a year ago. She had not wanted to join another, even if she had come across a welcoming one. It was almost a pity. Collins would have loved to be part of the group she was watching now.</p>
<p>It seemed to be made entirely of tradespeople, artisans. Some made tools for building, others crafted storage containers that seemed to repel bugs and moisture, still others wove cloth for blankets and clothing. Everyone had a talent or skill to offer the group and Collins would have adored the opportunity to learn, but there were three problems.</p>
<p>First, she had no real skills, not on the level this group seemed to offer. Collins had been an office worker in the real world. It had been boring, mind-numbing work with an unlivable wage, and Collins had taken sign-language jobs on the side to pay her bills. She had learned the basics to communicate with a deaf cousin, but she had never moved beyond that point. Fortunately, most jobs only needed the basics. Most deaf or hard-of-hearing people were quick enough to understand what Collins was attempting to sign. However, rudimentary sign-language skills were not on level with the abilities this group demonstrated.</p>
<p>Second, Collins could not drop her guard enough to ask to enter. Even if she had possessed a marketable skill to belong with the group of artisans, her intention was to gather supplies for a long journey and make her way toward the midwest. The midwest had fresh water sources, a low population, and farmland that could be used for planting or keeping animals, maybe even both. Given the right resources, Collins was certain she had read enough about farming to keep chickens and a cow or two alive, as well as grow, harvest, and preserve vegetables. She could have a good life, but not here. Collins had to leave the area. This was largely due to the third reason.</p>
<p>Planning may have been Collins's strong suit, but a close second was her ability to listen. As she wandered the woods, she had listened from a distance to the groups she passed. All of them talked about the great threat: a group that called themselves the Saviors, led by a man named Negan. Interestingly, Collins had heard several conflicting descriptions of the man. It was enough to pique her curiosity, but not so much that she wanted to stay in the area. She was dangerously close to Washington, D.C., and if the high population density wasn't enough to push her onward, the threat of the Saviors was. Everyone seemed to agree that the area on this side of the old city was Savior territory.</p>
<p>Late that night, Collins ducked the rudimentary security measures the artisan group had implemented, evaded the sentry, and made her way to the area where the products of the camp were stored. She thought carefully the whole way, planning to take only a tool or two, a few storage containers, and a new pair of the loose-woven pants the camp produced. Collins's own jeans were beginning to wear thin and she didn't want to travel the long distance ahead of her without pants.</p>
<p>She had been stuffing a pair of pants and a rough-looking hammer into a large storage container when she heard the first whistle. Collins's spine straightened involuntarily and her heartbeat soared. Whistling had always been mentioned in conversations about the Saviors.</p>
<p>She had to leave. <em>Now.</em></p>
<p>However, the time for flight had passed. The camp was surrounded in moments, the peacefully sleeping group members roused from their sleep with shouting, flashlight beams, and occasional gunfire. Everyone was herded to the largest clearing and forced to their knees, Collins included.</p>
<p>The woman Collins had figured to be the leader of the artisan group glanced at her in confusion. "She's not one of us," she had told one of the gun-bearing Saviors.</p>
<p>The man hadn't seemed concerned. Instead, he only laughed. "Negan will sort out who's who, don't you worry."</p>
<p>That was enough for Collins. Making the snap decision to implement her best thought-out plan, she bowed her head, mouth closed. She remained that way while the Saviors circled the group, mocking their weakness and offering occasional pushes. It reminded Collins of junior high more than anything, when upperclassmen would bully the younger students in petty ways in an attempt to bolster their own power.</p>
<p>She did not give any reaction to the Saviors, doing nothing more than righting herself when one hard shove to her shoulder knocked her onto her hands in the hard-packed dirt, chilled by the winter night.</p>
<p>Finally, the Saviors went quiet. The change was abrupt, but Collins could hear slow, heavy footsteps making their swaggering way into the Savior-edged circle. Collins was dying to catch a glimpse of Negan and discover which of the conflicting descriptions was correct, but there was only one way out of this mess and every detail had to be perfect. She kept her eyes fixed on the dirt just ahead of her knees even as the man began to speak.</p>
<p>"Now, I normally like to start things off by letting one unlucky son of a bitch get <em>real</em> up close and personal with Lucille here, but you folks are a special case. As it happens, my men have noticed all the skills you have here in your little camp. What do you say to a trade? I give you a place to live - a <em>safe</em> place - and everything you need to make your goods, and in return, you make 'em exclusively for me. What d'ya think? We have a deal?"</p>
<p>Silence fell after Negan's boisterous voice stopped. The leader cleared her throat. "If the choice is you or… uh, Lucille, I think we'll choose you."</p>
<p>A deep, oddly-rich laugh burst from Negan at that and Collins was extremely tempted to see if the joy was mirrored on his face. She was betting not, but there was no way to tell. That would give away the game and ruin her plan.</p>
<p>"Excellent choice!" Negan congratulated. "Gather up all of your stuff and my men and I will bring you to your new home, the Sanctuary."</p>
<p>No one moved, despite the apparent dismissal. Collins found herself reluctantly impressed. She must not have been the only one to hear the rumors about the violent leader of the Saviors.</p>
<p>"Oh, I forgot to dismiss you, didn't I? How embarrassing! Can you believe that? I'll tell ya: getting old is not for cowards." Negan chuckled again, and Collins could hear the swish of something flying through the cold air. "You can stand up now."</p>
<p>The entire affair had been neat, clean. A much more civil affair than the stories Collins had heard from the few who had survived a brush with the Saviors and still been able to flee. Collins was half-tempted to stay with the artisan group, but she had places to get to. She had <em>plans.</em></p>
<p>Everyone got slowly to their feet… except Collins. She released a slow breath and kept her eyes on the ground. It was time for the performance of her life.</p>
<p>"You can stand up now," Negan repeated a bit louder, but Collins remained on her knees, eyes unmoving. "What's your girl's problem?"</p>
<p>"She isn't part of our group," the leader told him. "I never saw her before your men brought all of us here."</p>
<p>"Is that so?" Rather than sounding confused or curious, Negan seemed delighted by the mystery. A moment later, a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire slid below Collins' chin. One of the barbs pierced the skin under her jaw and she jumped slightly, pulling back from the weapon.</p>
<p>"Look, a reaction!" Negan crowed. "I thought for a moment that she died of fright."</p>
<p>Carefully, Collins watched his mouth with slightly furrowed eyebrows, wiping absently at the bead of blood as it tickled its way down her neck.</p>
<p>"What, nothing to say?" the man mocked.</p>
<p>He was younger than she had expected of the man who had inspired so much terror in a world filled with horrors. His dark hair had gray strands at the temples, but he still stood straight, athletically swinging the bat back over his shoulder when she didn't present a threat. A smile stretched his mouth, exposing straight, white teeth. It was a friendly expression, but - as Collins had suspected - it left his dark eyes cold and empty.</p>
<p>He was watching her with growing suspicion, and Collins kicked herself into motion. She responded to his question with a flurry of sign language, actually explaining that she was deaf in the event anyone present understood sign language.</p>
<p>Negan frowned at that, the displeased emotion sitting far more honestly on his face. "What the fuck is that?"</p>
<p>"Sign language," the group's leader said slowly, then called, "Jason!"</p>
<p>"Wait, what is that shit?" Negan growled, pointing the bat at her. "This isn't your group anymore, lady. I'll give the orders. Who is Jason?"</p>
<p>He's one of my men," she responded with her hands raised, palm-out. "He understands sign language. I thought he could translate."</p>
<p>Negan turned slightly to watch Collins. "Jason!"</p>
<p>"Yes, sir?" a male voice asked behind Collins. She did not react.</p>
<p>"Stay there, behind her," Negan ordered, then looked at Collins directly. "Can you read lips?" he asked, moving his mouth in an exaggerated fashion.</p>
<p>She nodded an affirmative.</p>
<p>"You're not part of this group."</p>
<p>It wasn't a question, but Collins shook her head anyway.</p>
<p>"What's your story?"</p>
<p>She signed, <em>Do you understand sign language?</em> Behind her, Jason translated.</p>
<p>Negan slowly shook his head, smiling again. Collins mimed writing, with an eyebrow cocked in silent question. He shook his head once more and she glanced around the clearing as if searching for someone who could help her. Jason didn't move so she could ask him for help, though she wouldn't have been able to recognize him, anyway.</p>
<p>When she turned back to Negan, he was frowning. "I won't always have someone around to translate for you. I need to know you can talk to people without any help. Answer my question, or Lucille will have to escort you outta here."</p>
<p>He lifted the bat slightly as he spoke and Collins tried to slow her rapid heartbeat. Finally, she mimed walking like one of the dead ones, occasionally flashing her bloodstained hands, palm-out, beside her ears to indicate that she could hear at the beginning of the apocalypse. She drew a large shape in the air, a building, then mimed an explosion. She winced in apparent pain, covering her ears. She moved her hands to their palm-out position, then slowly drew her fingers down into fists.</p>
<p>Hopefully, he would understand it was her story. Surely a large building exploding nearby could cause someone to lose their hearing? To her relief, Negan nodded thoughtfully. "And what group are you a part of?"</p>
<p>Collins shook her head slowly, placing a palm on her chest while extending the index finger of the other, indicating that she was alone. "How did you learn sign language?"</p>
<p>Collins paused, uncertain of how to mime out her answer. Negan glanced behind her. "Jason? Here."</p>
<p>A kind-faced man, presumably Jason, came to stand beside Collins and signed slowly, <em>Hello, my name is Jason. I'll interpret for you.</em></p>
<p><em>Thank you,</em> Collins returned. <em>My name is Collins. Can you tell him that a man in my original group taught me some sign language?</em></p>
<p>Jason translated for her and Negan rubbed thoughtfully at the stubble on his chin. "Collins, huh? One name, like Sting… or me? What's your first name, doll?"</p>
<p><em>Beatrice</em>, Collins finger-spelled carefully, making a face to convey her disgust at the name.</p>
<p>Laughing, Jason conveyed her answer. Negan laughed as well, and Collins was intrigued to see that the emotion crept slightly closer to his eyes. "I'd go by Collins, too. Do you have any skills I could use, or should I bash your brains out here and now?"</p>
<p><em>Paperwork</em>, she answered, shrugging as Jason translated.</p>
<p>"I don't have much use for paperwork," Negan replied with a grin. "Anything else?"</p>
<p>Collins thought about that for a moment. She needed to be alive if she wanted to fulfill her plans, but she also needed to be underestimated, ignored. It looked like she wouldn't be able to escape being brought to the Sanctuary, but the less important she was, the easier it would be to sneak out later. Telling them about her weapons experience wouldn't help that at all, and being stuck in a kitchen all day was less than ideal, so cooking was out. Inspiration struck. <em>Cleaning.</em></p>
<p>Negan nodded slowly as Jason gave him her answer. "Anything else?"</p>
<p><em>Nothing, really</em>, she signed with a small, self-deprecating smile. <em>I don't have many skills. That's why I didn't ask to join this group.</em></p>
<p>Jason, bless his soul, rested a comforting hand on Collins' shoulder as he gave her answer. Negan only shrugged, the motion drawing the spikes of Lucille's barbed wire across the shoulder of his black leather jacket. "We always have a use for janitors, so my little vampire bat here'll just have to be happy with the little sip she had. Grab your stuff and join the group. We'll find you a place at the Sanctuary, don't you worry." With that, he wandered away to shout at the group to hurry.</p>
<p>In half a second, Collins had already decided to leave her small pack hidden in the woods nearby. She was fairly certain she could find her way back here, and could avoid the Saviors finding the few good things she had managed to keep or salvage.</p>
<p>She turned to find Jason watching her expectantly. <em>I don't have anything,</em> Collins explained. <em>Thank you for translating, Jason. It's nice to meet you.</em></p>
<p><em>Nice to meet you, too.</em> Jason signed. <em>If you need a translator at the Sanctuary, find me and I'll help if I can.</em></p>
<p>Collins nodded gratefully, wincing as the motion reopened the small wound under her chin, and Jason walked away to gather his belongings. Minutes later, everyone had been loaded into an army of cattle trailers and they were rumbling away. It was clear to Collins that the Saviors had intended to leave with the group's stuff, whether or not the group themselves accompanied them. Despite her reservations about what was to come, Collins was ever-more certain that she had made the best choice for the situation.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Chapter Two</span>
</p>
<p>The Sanctuary turned out to be a large factory that had been converted into a sprawling, heavily guarded complex. The bottom floors were crowded. Most of the Sanctuary's several hundred residents lived on the first few floors while the main levels were used for assembly and cleaning lines and a workshop. Scattered around the factory were a cafeteria and kitchens, a small doctor's office, a marketplace, and a garage. The upper levels held a few private rooms. Most of them were taken up by Negan's Saviors, but a few were available for Sanctuary residents. The rest of the upper levels were used for Negan's offices and living quarters.</p>
<p>Just outside of the Sanctuary itself - but inside the imposing fence - were several gardens, two greenhouses, and a small collection of livestock. The cows, pigs, and chickens all provided food for the residents of the Sanctuary, through one means or another.</p>
<p>The entire business was run using a system of points. Each job was worth a certain number of points and everything a resident could want required points as well. It had been explained to Collins that the 'rooms' on the lower levels - a bed and foot locker surrounded by hanging sheets - cost fifteen points a month in 'rent'. Meals were deducted automatically from their points totals at two points per meal, twice a day. Anything Sanctuary residents managed to keep after those amounts were taken from their points totals could be used to purchase anything that could be found in the marketplace, including clothing, hygiene supplies, additional food, or entertainment items.</p>
<p>It was a tremendous scam, to Collins's way of thinking. Sanctuary residents barely made anything more than the cost of their housing and food, and most of the things in the marketplace cost far more than they should. The only ones who could afford them were those with skill-based positions, such as mechanics, doctors, and Saviors. These were the same people who could afford a private room on the upper levels, with rent of thirty-five points a month.</p>
<p>As a janitor, Collins earned one-hundred and fifty points per month, exactly eleven points more than her food and rent. The cheapest pair of pants she had found to replace her tattered jeans cost forty points. Fortunately, work outfits were provided and the pair of cargo pants she had been issued were almost new. She was able to spend the eleven points from her first month's work on a three-point toothbrush, three-point toothpaste, three-point deodorant, and two-point soap. Life became almost bearable after that, though if Collins had planned to stay, she likely would have been very unhappy indeed. The lack of points explained the extremely limited number of janitors around the Sanctuary.</p>
<p>The main benefit of Collins's job - other than the pants - was that she wandered every inch of the lower levels as she cleaned. She occasionally swept and raked leaves outside, taking every opportunity to study the security of the Sanctuary. Dusting and cleaning windows helped her learn the best escape routes, and late-night floods of the shower room allowed her to discover the overnight guard pattern.</p>
<p>She had managed to avoid any suspicion, as best as she could tell. The Saviors didn't seem to care overly much about what happened on the lower levels of the Sanctuary and their leader made only limited appearances. About once a week, Collins would see him wandering the system of catwalks that hung over the main floor of the old factory, but he only watched the workers for a few minutes before leaving once more. She couldn't dedicate much time to watching him in return, but she was reasonably sure she had managed to avoid his notice.</p>
<p>Overall, being a janitor was the best decision she could have made, other than pretending to be deaf. Few people spoke to her, but a high number of them spoke around her. Collins listened to her heart's content, memorizing secrets and helpful information to make her life easier. Her ultimate goal was to save enough points to purchase a small toolkit she had spotted in the marketplace. The standard tools were surprisingly good quality, but Collins was mostly focused on the solar-powered flashlight with a backup crank included in the kit. It had been buried underneath a pile of junk and the case was severely scratched, but Jason had helped her convince the shop owner to hold the whole kit until she earned enough points to purchase it. It would take a while, as the usefulness factor of the kit as a whole meant it cost a hundred and fifty points.</p>
<p>Jason had offered to purchase it for her, naturally. As a producer of leather goods and thickly-woven clothing, he was unbelievably popular among mechanics and Saviors. A portion of his earnings went toward paying the rent for his market stall, but Jason was still considered to be one of the wealthier residents of the Sanctuary, and he had formed a sort of friendship with Collins.</p>
<p>However, she refused to allow him to buy her the toolkit. Her time at the Sanctuary was limited and she didn't need to worry about Jason being blamed after she disappeared some night, flashlight in hand.</p>
<p>Jason had also been unwilling to leave Collins to her lonely work, insisting that she meet at least a few members of the group she had planned to rob. Though they all had to have worked out what she had been attempting to do when the Saviors had infiltrated, the group members were all kind to Collins. In fact, she found a friend of sorts in their now ex-leader, Soph.</p>
<p>"Go on, Soph," Jason had egged on one day in the cafeteria. "Tell her what it's short for."</p>
<p>"Sophronia," Soph grumbled. "My family is Greek and my parents wanted a boy. That name is their punishment."</p>
<p><em>Really? </em>Collins signed, but Soph only laughed when Jason had translated.</p>
<p>"No, they thought it was a pretty name. Means <em>practical</em> or something like that. Romantic, right?" Soph gave an easy shrug. "At least it's fitting."</p>
<p>That was correct. Soph was nothing if not ultimately practical. If there was one person Collins had ever met who would understand the insane scheme she was currently running, it would be Soph. Not that she would ever admit her secrets to the older woman.</p>
<p>For one thing, Soph was busy, even more so than Jason. It wasn't rare for Collins to go several days without seeing Soph, even though her cleaning duties took her all over the Sanctuary. As she discovered through sitting with the other members of the artisan group, Soph had brought all of them together. She herself was extremely skilled at woodcarving, able to get an edge close enough to make the near-waterproof containers. These sold for an impressive amount and Soph was quickly becoming one of the most wealthy residents of the Sanctuary.</p>
<p>Despite Collins' determination to remain alone, the artisan group seemed to have adopted her as one of their own. They knew she didn't earn many points, and it seemed every day that they were trying to give her something new. Case in point, Soph slid into a table in the cafeteria, sitting across from Collins. She set her tray on the table and her skilled hands moved upward, twisting her thick black hair into an effortless-looking updo with only a hair tie and two bobby pins.</p>
<p>Collins watched the motion in jealousy. Her own hair - though far less thick than Soph's - had been a constant source of irritation since her only hair tie had broken the previous week. Hair ties were sold at the frankly ridiculous rate of five points each in the marketplace and Collins had deemed the expense too high. She just wanted to earn her toolkit and get out.</p>
<p>Seeing Collins's gaze on her motions, Soph drew a spare tie from her pocket and tossed it to her. Collins immediately shook her head and tried to give the tie back, but Soph ignored her, focusing her attention on her food.</p>
<p>"I'm not taking that back, Collins," she said eventually, seeing that Collins wasn't planning to give up. "I came here with about forty of them in my bag and the Saviors didn't bother to confiscate them. I don't need it, you do. End of story."</p>
<p>Collins sighed silently and tied her hair back, enjoying the feeling more than she could describe. <em>Thank you,</em> she signed, uncertain of whether Soph would understand.</p>
<p>"She says 'thank you'," Jason translated, sitting down beside Soph.</p>
<p>"I have managed to grasp that much," Soph told him dryly. "You're welcome, Collins. I do think it's time that I started learning sign language, though."</p>
<p>Collins stared at her, feeling the bemusement on her own face. Soph scarcely had time to eat and sleep, and she was offering to learn another language? Soph laughed at Collins's confused look. "What? I thought it might be nice to be able to talk with you even when Jason isn't around. What if we need to talk about him?"</p>
<p>Jason grew red, his ginger complexion showcasing his embarrassment even as Soph shot Collins a conspiratory wink. "Like I'll agree to teach you now!"</p>
<p>"That's okay," Soph said with a shrug. "I'm not an idiot. Collins can just sign what I'm saying and I'll pick up on it that way."</p>
<p>Privately, Collins thought that Soph was putting far too much faith in both of their abilities, but the thought filled the rest of the meal with good-natured bickering between Soph and Jason. It was entertainment enough to keep Collins happy through a solid portion of her afternoon cleaning duties.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Chapter Three</span>
</p>
<p>Collins disliked days cleaning the bottom floor of the Sanctuary. These wide halls were made narrow with the mass 'rooms' for the workers who couldn't afford private rooms on the upper levels. Every time she cleaned there, she inevitably disturbed a worker desperately attempting to catch up on sleep or was accused of stealing from someone's meager pile of belongings.</p>
<p>With such experiences in mind, Collins was listening intently to her surroundings as she cleaned. Fortunately, this particular section didn't need much work. The Sanctuary was too big and too busy to worry about things like mopping, so Collins had only been told to sweep through the common areas with a wide push broom. She wasn't required to clean inside worker rooms and so she didn't. Halfway down the last long hallway of the day, Collins heard two male voices behind her and fought not to tense. She hadn't turned to see the men, so she shouldn't know they were there. That didn't stop her from listening, though.</p>
<p>"So that's the one he wanted us to check up on?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's her. She was with that group he brought in last month."</p>
<p>"Why does he care?"</p>
<p>The other man snorted. "Since when does Negan give explanations for his orders? He tells us to come down here, we do."</p>
<p>Saviors. Collins fought to keep from tensing up, concentrating on pushing the broom in short sweeps to herd the dirt into the pile she was slowly moving down the hall. Why would Negan send his men - Saviors, no less - to check on her? Unless he was suspicious. Had she done something that made him realize the truth? She didn't think so, but the more comfortable Collins felt in her role, the more likely she was to make a mistake. Jumping at a loud noise, not watching people's mouths as they spoke to her... anything could tip him off.</p>
<p>From all accounts, Negan was a smart man. It wouldn't take much for him to find her out. And the punishment for lying to the head Savior himself was death. Whether that came from being thrown to the dead or meeting Lucille, Collins didn't know and she had no intention of finding out. When things quieted down, she could sneak out. Perhaps she had worn out her welcome here. Part of her ached for the flashlight. It would have been the best possible tool for her journey west, but her life was more important.</p>
<p>"Wait, was that a bruise?" one of the Savior hissed, bringing Collins back to the present. She had turned slightly to sweep along the seam where the wall met the floor.</p>
<p>"Aren't you worried she'll hear you?"</p>
<p>"She's deaf, man. There, on her cheek. That's a bruise."</p>
<p>Collins turned the opposite direction to hide the mark the Saviors had noticed, swinging the broom out to capture a large dust bunny near one of the sheet walls.</p>
<p>"That's another one on the back of her arm, look. Shit. We'll have to report it."</p>
<p>"What does Negan care if some janitor got into a fight?"</p>
<p>"Have you ever known him to check up on a low-level worker?"</p>
<p>"Shit."</p>
<p>"Yeah. Let's go. The sooner we tell him, the better."</p>
<p>The footsteps retreated and Collins finished the rest of the hall in short order. Interestingly enough, she did have a number of bruises at the moment, but it wasn't because she got into a fight. Her ex-Marine hand-to-hand trainer would haunt her if she had lost a fight with one of these undernourished, overworked people.</p>
<p>No, the storage closet on the bottom floor was an absolute nightmare. Rather than having any kind of organizational structure, the cleaning supplies were thrown into the closet, brooms and mops leaned haphazardly against the wall. Collins had been putting away a dry mop a few days prior when she had tripped on a bucket and been caught in an avalanche of cleaning supplies.</p>
<p>It didn't matter. None of it did. Before she went to dinner that night, Collins took a shower and quietly packed her belongings, locking her packed bag in her footlocker to avoid any questions or suspicions. The key to escaping the Sanctuary safely was to act like everything was normal. Collins had been acting since the moment she had met the Saviors; only a few more hours of top performance would allow her to escape with her life.</p>
<p>Collins couldn't taste her food. She was too on-edge for it, putting all of her energy into looking nonchalant and being as engaged in conversation with the artisan group as she ever was. Jason eagerly accepted when she offered him the food she couldn't bring herself to choke down and she was about to leave in hopes of getting a few hours of sleep when the room went silent.</p>
<p>Along with everyone else, she turned to see a black leather jacket and a barbed wire-wrapped baseball bat approaching. Everyone in the room dropped to one knee on the floor, the people at the tables standing to do so. Collins hated this part, hated it more than anything else about life in the Sanctuary.</p>
<p>It was also the major drawback of her deaf persona. Collins had to kneel until someone around her remembered to tap her on the shoulder and tell her Negan had passed. It usually took longer than she was patient enough to accept, but - as she was to find out on this very occasion - it was preferable to the alternative.</p>
<p>Today, Negan's footsteps grew closer and closer until his motorcycle boots were in her field of vision. She saw his legs bending and his smiling face soon appearing in her line of vision. He was ducking at a near impossible level, crouched in front of her to motion that she should stand up. Heart in her throat, she did.</p>
<p>"Everyone can stand up now!" Negan called, resting one arm on Collins's shoulder. It was the one not holding Lucille, thankfully, but Collins was still far closer to the bat and its owner than she had ever wanted to be. "Quick announcement, folks: the Saviors are going to be doing nightly patrols of the bottom levels for the next week or so. We've had some… <em>incidents</em>. Just a reminder for all of you that attacking another Sanctuary resident is for-<em>fucking</em>-bidden. If we catch you at it, Lucille here'll break your legs and you'll be thrown out to the dead-heads. Are we clear?" A chorus of "Yes, sir"s sounded around the room and Negan grinned. "Good! Dismissed."</p>
<p>Collins hoped that Negan would leave, but he only waited until she had sat down before sitting beside her. He was imposing, both in physical presence and personality, and she scooted further down the bench.</p>
<p>"Jason," Negan drawled, "I need you to translate what I just said to Collins here."</p>
<p>Collins signed quickly to him and he translated, "She says she understands. She read your lips as you were talking to everyone."</p>
<p>"Are you sure?" Negan asked, making serious eye contact with Collins. She was grateful for once that her false lip reading gave her a reason not to meet his gaze. "I don't want any misunderstandings on this, doll."</p>
<p>She nodded and he nodded along with her. He turned to look at the table instead, face darkening as he saw Jason eating from Collins's discarded tray. Negan looked back at Collins, who looked around at everyone else to avoid him, but he tapped at the sensitive spot where her shoulder met her neck. "Anything you want to tell me, Collins?"</p>
<p>Collins fought to control her raging pulse, worried he would somehow see the panic his question had brought about, and shook her head. He watched her for a moment even after she had finished the motion, dark eyes intense as he twirled Lucille where the bat rested against the table. "Anyone else at the table have anything I should know ?"</p>
<p>There was no reply and Negan slapped his hands loudly on the table. Fortunately, Collins had been resting her elbows on the surface and used the vibrations as an excuse for jumping at the sound. "If anyone suddenly remembers anything I should hear about, I'll be around."</p>
<p>With that vaguely menacing statement, Negan left, waving away the few people who started to kneel as he stood. Jason watched Collins in concern. "Did someone attack you? Is that why he was saying all of that?"</p>
<p>Collins signed back that she had fallen in the supply closet, but he didn't seem to believe her. It was just as well, she thought. She couldn't go tell Negan that she hadn't been attacked because he had never said she was the reason he had added patrols of the Sanctuary's lower levels. She couldn't even reference the visit she had gotten from the Saviors without admitting that she could hear them because she had never seen them. It was a mess, and Collins went to bed directly after leaving the cafeteria.</p>
<p>The additional patrols meant that she was stuck in the Sanctuary a little while longer; at least another week. After things died down once more, she would be able to make her escape. Collins just had to keep up the charade for a bit more time.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next day, Collins was on-edge. Saviors had been patrolling the halls all night, waking her every time they passed. The frequency of their patrols was astonishing. She had been correct in assuming that there would be no way to make her escape as long as this heightened security lasted. The abundance of Savior presence, as well as the memory of Negan's closeness the previous night in the cafeteria, led her to be less cautious than she should have been.</p>
<p>When Negan's footsteps approached her from behind as she was dusting the metal railings of the factory catwalk on the main level, Collins turned to see him. He paused for a moment, then narrowed his eyes. "How did you know I was behind you?"</p>
<p>Thinking frantically, Collins's mind latched onto her reaction the night before. Setting the long-handled duster aside, she pointed to the floor, then held her hands palm down and parallel to it, vibrating them slightly in the beat of footsteps.</p>
<p>Negan burst out a laugh, causing a momentary pause in production on the main floor. "Are ya calling me fat, sweetheart?"</p>
<p>Collins grinned broadly and shook her head. Negan grew serious once more. "Here, I brought you something."</p>
<p>He held out a small notepad and a pen, which Collins accepted hesitantly. Saviors, points accountants, and vendors had first pick of all paper and writing supplies, and they took most of it. The lack of available paper had led to a shortage for the people, and the pad and pen she was holding represented a value of well over one hundred points.</p>
<p>Before she wrote in it, she cocked an eyebrow and rubbed her thumb and fingers together in the shorthand for <em>How much?</em></p>
<p>Negan shook his head. "On the house. If there's anyone in this place who should get access to free paper, it's you. The only payment I need is honesty."</p>
<p>She tilted her head slightly at him and he sighed, motioning for her to follow him. After grabbing the duster, she did.</p>
<p>When they were in a slightly more secluded area - or, at least, out of the sight of most main-floor workers - Negan took a step closer to Collins and used his serious voice. She had to fight a tide of amusement at that, as - to the best of his knowledge - she couldn't hear him.</p>
<p>"Yesterday, I got a report that you're covered in bruises. If someone tried to hurt you, I need to know."</p>
<p>Finally, the opening she needed. Flipping to the first page of the unmarked notepad, Collins wrote, <em>So the extra patrols are because of me?</em></p>
<p>Negan accepted the pad, but frowned down at it as he blinked rapidly. "Holy fuck, your handwriting is terrible! How am I supposed to read that?" Collins only shrugged. She had gotten similar comments from every teacher she'd ever had, as well as several bosses. They had either been able to read her handwriting eventually or she had rewritten it. This would be the same. Finally, Negan seemed to make sense out of her question. "Yes, they are. That was strike one, Collins. Answer the fuckin' question or I'll rethink this generous gift of mine."</p>
<p>He passed the notepad back and she carefully wrote out, <em>No one tried to hurt me. I tripped in the downstairs supply closet and everything fell on me.</em></p>
<p>"Bullshit," he commented after reading her reply. She raised a brow. Obviously, he didn't know the state of his supply closets or he would have believed her immediately. "Even if you don't know their names, Collins, just give me a description and I'll set 'em straight. They'll never even know it was you. I'll say it was an anonymous tip."</p>
<p>Collins rolled her eyes, took her notepad, and started for the storage closet. She made it about five feet before Negan caught at her elbow and pulled her to a stop, strong fingers pressing on one of the very bruises he had been so concerned about. His face made her pause. He was starting to get well and truly pissed, and she needed to tread lightly.</p>
<p>"You had better not be walking away from me," he rumbled, voice deep and rough. His fingers squeezed her elbow joint and she winced. When had she gotten so comfortable that she had forgotten the man's dangerous nature?</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm not. Let me show you the supply closet. You'll believe me once you see it.</em>
</p>
<p>He read the pad and handed it back to her, still clearly unhappy. "Fine. Lead on."</p>
<p>She did, aware of his eyes on her back the entire journey down to the first floor and through the maze of hallways to the downstairs supply closet. She stopped in front of the door and Negan raised his eyebrows. "This is it?"</p>
<p>Frowning slightly, Collins nodded and Negan shrugged. "I can't know every square inch of this place. I'm just one guy. Show me."</p>
<p>She unlocked the door with the keys that were part of her uniform and stepped inside. Collins didn't go far into the room; she had learned her lesson from the avalanche. Negan, however, had no such experience, and strode boldly into the room, nearly knocking Collins off her feet.</p>
<p>"Shit!" he said, catching her around the waist and dragging her back against him. Collins patted his arm, waiting until he released her to switch on the overhead light. "Shi-iiit…" he repeated slowly.</p>
<p>Collins had to agree with his assessment. The closet was nightmare material. The room was small enough that Collins could almost touch the walls if she stretched her arms out to either side, and yet it was packed with various chemicals, spray bottles, towels, brooms, mops, plungers, and other assorted mess. A small fill station and drain took up most of one corner, adding to the confused mess.</p>
<p>Negan stared around in disgust, nudging a broom with the toe of his boot. Just that small motion was enough to set off a small landslide of sponges, scrub brushes, and a squeegee. "I've changed my mind. I think you're damn lucky a fall in this closet didn't kill you."</p>
<p><em>And you didn't even see it before I scrubbed the mold off the walls</em>.</p>
<p>When he read that, Negan's eyebrows came down even further. "Do all the closets look like this one?"</p>
<p>
  <em>More or less. Some of the main-level closets are big enough that I sorted different supplies into different areas. Those ones look a bit more organized, but not by much.</em>
</p>
<p>"I see," Negan said slowly, actually looking as though he were thinking very hard about it. Collins hesitated before offering him the pad once more, but her sense of self-preservation shone through. He read it and immediately shook his head. "The overnight patrols stay."</p>
<p>She reached for the notepad again, but Negan held it up and away from her. "I believe you about falling, Collins, I really do, but some of the residents here will take advantage of the others if I don't show a certain presence. Don't think I haven't noticed your friend Jason eating half of your meals."</p>
<p>Collins tried again to reclaim her notepad, but Negan pretended he didn't know what she was reaching for. Huffing, she leaned back on her heels and mimed out, <em>I wasn't hungry.</em></p>
<p>"Why do you sound like some fucking domestic abuse survivor trying to make excuses for her piece of shit husband?" Negan asked with a sigh. He tossed her the notebook. "Here, you earned this. And a day off. Don't report to work tomorrow. Just take some time to relax, okay? You look like hell."</p>
<p>With a final look at the closet, Negan left. A moment later, Collins did the same, returning to the dusting she had yet to complete. She had survived another encounter with Negan, but she could not bring herself to be happy about it. Two meetings in two days was a lot, especially when she was going to try to escape his compound in a little over a week.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Collins had been determined to sleep late on her surprise day off, but her body woke her up at promptly six in the morning. All attempts at falling asleep once more failed, and it was only a little past seven when she finally rose and donned a tee shirt and her heavily patched jeans. For lack of anything to do, she wandered into the marketplace. Soon enough, she had located the artisans' stall and found Jason weaving a pair of the loose pants he had specialized in making at the camp. Behind him, Soph lifted a hand in silent greeting before returning her attention to sanding a fresh container. The top edge had to be a precise thickness before she coated the lip and the inner lid with wax to create the seal.</p><p>"Collins! What are you doing here?" Jason asked, finally catching sight of her.</p><p>
  <em>I got a day off. You look busy; I can leave?</em>
</p><p>"No, don't worry about it. I already finished off two pairs of gloves and bundled up my socks for sale. This is a side project." He studied her with a critical eye. "Is everything okay? How did you get a day off? Forgive me, but I didn't think you earned enough points to lose an entire day's worth."</p><p>Collins shrugged. <em>Negan told me not to report to work today. I'll figure something out with the points.</em></p><p>"I'll get you anything you need," Jason offered and Collins glared. "What? You can pay me back whenever. I know you're good for it. Besides, it's the least I can do if you'll stay here and keep me company. Soph is a bear when she's carving. It's hard work just being around her."</p><p>"Like you would know anything about hard work, you insolent man-child," Soph shot back without pausing in her sanding. Collins fought not to smile; Soph had not turned around for her to 'read lips', so she had to pretend not to know what was happening.</p><p>Jason explained, "She says I'm right and apologized for not fully appreciating the gift of my company."</p><p>Soph straightened at that, turning to shake her head at Collins, accompanying the motion with a roll of her eyes.</p><p><em>I doubt it</em>, Collins signed back, pasting on her most skeptical expression.</p><p>"Well, she did," Jason said, pretending to fix a seam on the pants. "Anyway, don't you have anywhere more fun to be on your day off?"</p><p>
  <em>Not really. I don't know what to do with free time anymore.</em>
</p><p>"Fair enough," he admitted. "Not like you can just kick back and watch tv."</p><p>
  <em>Don't remind me.</em>
</p><p>"What would you watch right now if you could watch anything?"</p><p><em>Maybe </em>The Twilight Zone<em>.</em></p><p>"What? Get out of here. That's such a boring choice!" Collins quirked an eyebrow at Jason, silently returning his question. "Any television show? Probably <em>Scrubs</em>."</p><p>"You're such a nerd, Jace," Soph taunted, coming to the table where Jason sat to retrieve a large chunk of what appeared to be raw beeswax.</p><p>Jason scoffed. "You should hear Collins's choice! <em>The Twilight Zone.</em>"</p><p>"Okay, that is pretty bad," Soph admitted. "The right choice is <em>The Sopranos</em>, obviously."</p><p>"It had some good parts, if you're into that kind of stuff," a new voice cut in. "I'm more of a <em>The Office</em> kind of guy, myself."</p><p>Jason stood and Soph put down the beeswax as they all prepared to kneel, but Negan waved his hand. "Don't. I'm not on official business right now."</p><p>That, at least, seemed to be true. Instead of his 'intimidation' outfit - leather jacket and bright red scarf - or his 'Sanctuary business' outfit - usually a simple long-sleeved shirt made ratty from working on various things - the Saviors' leader wore a white tee shirt with jeans and boots. Negan still looked intimidating, but more due to his stature and the force of his personality than his clothing.</p><p><em>He likes The Office,</em> Jason signed to Collins, who belatedly realized she had been facing the opposite direction when Negan had spoken.</p><p>She grimaced, then grinned. <em>I was never a big fan, myself.</em></p><p><em>I guess you wouldn't be, if your choice for an apocalypse tv show would be </em>The Twilight Zone.</p><p>Collins playfully pretended she was going to punch him and Jason mock-cowered behind Soph's shoulder as she rolled her eyes.</p><p>Negan watched the interaction with a searching expression. Finally, he pointed between Jason and Collins. "You two fuckin'?"</p><p>Gaping, Collins shook her head and Jason sputtered a sloppy denial. Soph picked up her beeswax cube and said nonchalantly, "No, but we are," adding a gesture between herself and Jason for clarity.</p><p>Negan belted out a laugh at that revelation. "Robbing the cradle a bit, aren't ya?"</p><p>Soph shrugged. "I like 'em old enough to understand my genius and young enough to be impressed by it."</p><p>If possible, Negan laughed louder. "I knew I liked you for a fucking reason, Soph!" He turned to look down at Collins. "So why are you using the day off I gave you - with <em>pay</em>, mind you - to hang out in the marketplace?"</p><p>"She said she didn't have anywhere else to be," Jason answered for her. "Said she doesn't really know what to do with free time anymore."</p><p>"That so?" Negan asked, eyeing her with an odd smile.</p><p>Inspiration struck. If she played this right, Collins could use the day to do some additional scouting around the Sanctuary. <em>Will you ask him if I can just walk around and explore?</em></p><p>Jason passed the question along and Negan's smile turned to a frown. "Listen, I wouldn't mind, but we have some people here who… well, I wouldn't trust them with anything other than what they're doing now. It might make you a target."</p><p>Well, that wasn't fair. Collins couldn't argue on her own behalf without admitting that she knew how to fight, at least a little. <em>What about just outside, then?</em></p><p>Negan sighed, rubbing at the stubble on his chin. "I guess you could, just be careful. If you get into trouble… Can you still speak, or is that gone, too?"</p><p>Ah, the question she had hoped no one would ask. <em>I can still speak, I think,</em> she signed. <em>Enough to make some noise if I get into trouble.</em></p><p>"Fine. At least let me escort you out there. Maybe no one will mess with you, then."</p><p>The last sentence was spoken away from her and Collins pretended not to know he had said anything at all. As she turned away, Jason waved to catch her attention and handed her the pair of pants he had been working on.</p><p>
  <em>I had to guess your size, but I noticed that your jeans are in pretty bad shape.</em>
</p><p>Collins clutched the garment to her chest, fumbling to sign, <em>You made these for me?</em></p><p><em>I started them right after we got here. Sorry they took so long, but I was swamped with orders. If they don't fit right, tell me what's wrong and we'll fix them, okay? I'm also sorry the bottom hems look like shit. Soph insisted on helping and sewing is </em>not <em>her talent.</em></p><p>It would be ridiculous to cry over a pair of pants, but Collins was close. Not only had Jason and Soph kept her from being isolated in this place - despite Collins being a woman who had planned to rob them and flee - but they noticed that she was in need and had helped.</p><p>She signed a clumsy <em>Thank you</em> to both of them, held up a finger asking Negan to wait, and ran into the nearest restroom to change. Her jeans, covered in stains and sporting inner thighs that were more hole than fabric, were tossed in the trash can as soon as she pulled her notepad and pen from the back pocket. The new pants were a perfect fit, and Collins was delighted to find that they had a number of pockets. It looked as though Jason had designed them after cargo pants and they were a serviceable dark gray.</p><p>When she emerged from the restroom, Negan looked impatient. "Are ya finally ready, doll? I have places to be, believe it or not."</p><p>Over his shoulder, Collins signed several "thank you"s to Jason and Soph, both of whom merely smiled in return. From there, she turned and followed Negan outside. The fearless leader of the Saviors chatted away as they walked around the space between the Sanctuary and the area fence.</p><p>"I've never seen anyone so excited for pants," he remarked casually. "I mean, they look great, but they're just pants."</p><p>For the first time since she had started this whole charade, Collins almost spoke aloud. At the last second, she turned the slight sound into a cough, which Negan regarded with interest. She wrote out her thoughts instead, managing to rein in her temper as she did so.</p><p>
  <em>It's not about the pants, really. My old jeans were about to fall apart, but the cheapest pair of pants in the marketplace costs forty points - my points total for about four months. I didn't know what I was going to do, but Jason and Soph helped me.</em>
</p><p>Negan read the notepad and scoffed. "I pay you more than that."</p><p>She shook her head slowly, flashing two extended index fingers. "Eleven?" he asked with a frown. "You earn more than eleven points a month."</p><p>
  <em>Not after food and rent costs.</em>
</p><p>He read the notepad and passed it back to her in silence, the furrow between his brows deepening. Eventually, he left her at the greenhouses, which Collins studied intently. The two structures were beside the small building which held the Sanctuary's livestock. She explored them thoroughly, memorizing which plants could be found in what order from the door and which ones were nearly ripe. Perhaps she could alter her escape route to come in this direction. Some vegetables and a few eggs would go a long way toward feeding her as she made her way west. The less hunting she had to do, the faster she could travel.</p><p>Collins spent a bit of time helping the gardeners, attempting to pick up advice about planting a garden, but most of the workers were too busy to stop and read a notepad and none knew sign language. Eventually, she had picked up as much as she could from observation alone and made her way to the makeshift barn.</p><p>It was hot inside and smelled like livestock, but Collins didn't mind. Manure was hardly the worst thing she had smelled at the Sanctuary… or in the world at large after this mess had started. She helped milk the cows, putting experience behind the knowledge she had gleaned from books, then cared for the chickens. Her favorite part of the day found Collins cradling a baby chick as it drowsed in her cupped palm.</p><p>Finally, it was time for the workers to finish for the day and they began making their way to the lower levels so they could clean up before it was time for dinner. Not hungry in the least, Collins climbed a fire escape to sit on the first level of the Sanctuary, looking out over the land. If anyone asked, she could say that she was just watching the sunset, but in her mind's eye, she was tracing her escape route over the hills and through the trees.</p><p>When someone clattered out onto the balcony behind her, Collins knew who it was without turning around. Hell, if she really was deaf, she would have known. There was only one man rich and powerful enough to wear cologne in the apocalypse.</p><p>Negan came to sit beside her on the wall, dangling his legs over the edge just as she was doing. "You said you can speak, right?" he asked without preamble, turning so she could read his lips.</p><p>Collins nodded and that was enough. "I forgot to tell you: if anyone asks who you are, you have to say you're me."</p><p>She frowned and tilted her head to the side in silent question. "It's a long story, but it's very important. If you can't do it, you can't stay, but Lucille says she'll make sure you don't turn into one of the geeks outside." Collins blinked at the blunt mention of her own death, but Negan continued without a second's hesitation. "Can you say it for me? Negan? N-E-G-A-N?"</p><p>This was tricky. In her limited experience, Collins had noted that deaf people tended to overcorrect when they tried to speak aloud and she tried to mimic that idiosyncrasy. "Degad."</p><p>"Close!" he encouraged. "That was more of a 'D' sound than an 'N', though. Try it again."</p><p>"Legad."</p><p>He puffed out a breath, shaking his head. "Not quite. Here." He slid far closer to her than he had been before and spoke with only inches between them. "Watch my mouth: Nneeegaaannn… Negan."</p><p>At last, Collins said his name correctly, but it was more due to her own discomfort with the situation than it was a product of careful analysis. "Negan."</p><p>He grinned broadly and she swore she could see every one of his teeth. "That's my girl." Negan looked out toward the sunset and relaxed, leaning ever-so-slightly closer to her even as a frown turned the corners of his mouth and his eyebrows furrowed. "My girl…"</p><p>Collins sat up slightly straighter, but he had said it away from her, so there was no reason she should know that he had spoken at all. She tapped him on the wrist, positioned so close that the heel of Collins's palm brushed the outside of her own thigh as she did.</p><p>When Negan turned, quirking one eyebrow in question, she brought her hand to her mouth and spun it gently away, miming speech with her own head tilted. "No, I didn't say anything," he denied, then smiled. "Was there something you wanted me to say?"</p><p>She shook her head. Negan swung his long legs back over the wall to stand on the roof once more, grabbing her wrist and then her hand in the guise of helping her back onto the quasi-balcony. When Collins stood with her feet flat on solid ground, he held her hand for an extended moment before releasing it. "Come on, it's dinner time and I'm starving!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Seriously, having a baby chicken sleep in your hand is one of the best things in the world. Even in the apocalypse.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Collins didn't see Negan at all the following day. That wasn't much of a shock, since she was working once more and he was always locked away in his top-floor apartment with his collection of wives. She had seen him more over the past few days than she had the previous month of living in the Sanctuary, and that was the problem.</p>
<p>Wherever Negan went, his Saviors followed. Negan's increased presence on the lower levels of the Sanctuary meant that those same areas were crawling with Saviors. Anywhere Collins went, there were people watching her. It boded poorly for her upcoming escape plan, but that wasn't the end of her grievances.</p>
<p>She hadn't been able to suppress the memory of Negan calling her 'his girl' on the rooftop. It had been the same kind of nonsense he normally spouted, just another piece of the intimidation tactics he had built into his personality, but there had been something about his voice when he moved closer and stared out at the setting sun. Then there was the split second when he held her hand…</p>
<p>Collins sighed. He was an attractive man, not terribly much older than her, and he took care of his people. Of course, he was extraordinarily violent, oppressed the same people he took care of, and had a literal harem of wives. Not to mention, Collins intended to leave the compound as soon as she could manage.</p>
<p>
  <em>But what's the harm in a little flirtation? It's nice to feel attractive, even in the apocalypse.</em>
</p>
<p>She snorted aloud at her own thoughts. What was the harm? Collins needed to get her toolkit and leave the Sanctuary, head off to create her own compound. The closer she got to Negan, the more he would be around and the more difficult escape would be.</p>
<p>Also, he would use Lucille to beat her to death if he found out she could hear. He'd probably smile as he did it.</p>
<p>Collins shuddered as she was reminded of how precarious a situation she was in. She was locked in a building with a powerful sadist who possessed an army of followers. It didn't matter that Negan was charismatic, or that his obsession with finding love was sort of sweet to witness. It only mattered that he stood between her and the new way of life she hoped to cultivate.</p>
<p>With that in mind, she solidified her determination to avoid Negan as much as possible.</p>
<p>Of course, that could be more difficult than it seemed. Though Collins hadn't seen the leader of the Saviors that day, she had gone to clean the lower levels of the Sanctuary and found the supply closet cleaned and well-organized. She had stepped inside, caught a whiff of paint, and felt carefully for the light switch. The floor, walls, and even the ceiling had been scrubbed, the latter two given a fresh coat of paint. The dim bulb dangling from the ceiling had been replaced with a brighter bulb and fitted with a white plastic cover that dispersed the light far better. The mess on the ground had been organized: the chemicals, buckets, and other cleaning flotsam had been placed onto sets of newly-installed shelves. The brooms and mops had been corralled behind a bungee cord that was stretched across a corner and tied onto hooks screwed into the walls. The fill station faucet had even been repaired, and Collins didn't miss the constant dripping in the slightest.</p>
<p>A note had been taped to the inside of the door: <em>No more bruises. Consider that an order.</em></p>
<p>It had to be from Negan, and Collins had been less than shocked that he had rather neat handwriting. Was there anything he didn't do well? With a start, she had realized a stupid-looking smile had sprouted on her face while she hadn't been paying attention. She had folded the note up and grabbed the appropriate materials to clean the downstairs shower rooms.</p>
<p>The fact that the note stayed tucked into her pocket was inconsequential.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Another day of avoiding Negan had passed. Apparently, the day she had discovered the newly-refurbished supply closet, he had been out of the Sanctuary altogether. Collins only knew this because the Saviors continued to patrol the lower levels at all times of the day and night, and they had no qualms about speaking in front of a person they believed to be deaf. Besides being rude, speaking openly in front of her was a bad idea - Collins had taken care to show that she was extremely skilled at reading lips.</p>
<p>The next day, Negan had returned to the Sanctuary, along with some of his upper-level Saviors. Collins had heard the others talking about it and had been able to keep track of Negan's whereabouts by listening in on the radio conversations. Her only vulnerable moments were when she was eating, so Collins made a point of showing up, eating quickly, and leaving again.</p>
<p>Her luck ran out the following day, nearly a full week into the increased Savior patrols. She was pushing for the finish line at that point, reminding herself on an almost hourly basis that she had a few more days before the patrols would end and things would go back to normal. That was when she could leave the Sanctuary without suspicion.</p>
<p>It was in the middle of these musings that a tap on her shoulder made Collins jump violently. She turned to find Negan standing behind her in the mechanic's shop with a wide grin on his face. The expression was nice, reaching all the way to his eyes for a change and giving them a sense of warmth. The stretch of his lips sent wrinkles creasing across his cheeks and around his eyes, but it was a good look on him.</p>
<p>"Did I scare ya?" he teased, bringing Collins back to the present.</p>
<p>She shook her head with a slight smile, pointing her index fingers at her temples before writhing her fingers together in a mimicry of a busy brain. Without waiting for a response, she turned away, pretending as though sweeping the metal shavings from the mechanics' tables was the most all-consuming task she had ever undertaken.</p>
<p>"Hey," she heard him say behind her, sounding more disappointed than angry at her clear dismissal. She could ignore him, though, because he hadn't said it where she could have read his lips.</p>
<p>A moment later, the wide push broom jerked to a stop in her hands and Collins glanced up to find Negan's hand wrapped around the top of the handle. He was staring down at her, heat in his eyes and a frown on his face.</p>
<p>"Are you okay?"</p>
<p>She forced a smile and nodded. He looked unconvinced. "You just don't have time for a short conversation with your boss?"</p>
<p>The real question was how he had time for a conversation with her. He was wearing his 'Sanctuary business' clothing, which usually meant he was running around taking a personal interest in every part of the operation. Those seemed to be busy days for him, and he was only wasting time following a janitor around. Collins pulled the notepad from her pocket and began writing. <em>I have to finish cleaning this shop and get to bed. I'm scheduled to deep-clean the kitchen overnight.</em></p>
<p>"Yeah, forget about all of that," he dismissed after reading her excuses. "Did you see the lower-level supply closet yet?"</p>
<p>She nodded and he raised his eyebrows. "Aren't you gonna say 'thank you'?"</p>
<p>Collins lifted the notepad to write out a quick thanks, but he pushed it down again. "I don't want that kind of thanks."</p>
<p>Fighting not to narrow her eyes at his blatantly wheedling tone, Collins lifted a hand and signed a simple 'thanks'.</p>
<p>Negan shook his head. "That's not what I want, either."</p>
<p>She frowned now, and he let her write, <em>I don't know what you want from me.</em></p>
<p>"You're too skinny."</p>
<p>Collins blinked at the abrupt change in subject. She frowned, allowing her furrowed brow to speak for her.</p>
<p>"You're too skinny," Negan repeated, seeming frustrated with her. "I was hoping you'd put on some weight after we brought you here, but you've lived in the Sanctuary for over a month and you're still not looking healthy. It's dangerous, especially when you live and work in an enclosed space with this many people."</p>
<p>
  <em>I don't skip meals, if that's what you're asking.</em>
</p>
<p>"You lyin' to me? Because I didn't see you in the cafeteria yesterday for lunch or dinner."</p>
<p>Ah, there was the reasoning. <em>Yesterday was busy - I had to clean the butcher's area and it took all day. I ate both meals - Jason can vouch for me - but I didn't stay in the cafeteria for long.</em></p>
<p>"The butcher's?" Negan asked, seeming disgusted by the idea. It hadn't been Collins's favorite activity, but it had been her best idea of a place to avoid Negan - successfully, as it happened. The fact that the butcher's had desperately needed to be cleaned was incidental. After Collins had nodded in answer to Negan's question, he sighed. "You're being wasted down here, you know?"</p>
<p>She was? Collins's talents definitely lay outside of janitorial work, but Negan wasn't supposed to know that. With a lack of options for responses, Collins only gave a shrug.</p>
<p>"No, really," Negan mused, eventually giving a victorious smile that boded ill for Collins. "It's time we put your hard work to better use. Starting tomorrow, your new job will be cleaning the upper levels, Savior-exclusive areas, and my office."</p>
<p>Startled, Collins could only stare at him in horror. With one pseudo-promotion, he had severely damaged her ability to walk around the Sanctuary. Instead of being able to wander, double-check routes, and otherwise make her plans, Collins would be limited to the upper levels. She would become a strange and unusual face in the lower levels during working hours. That, along with her close proximity to large amounts of Saviors and top point-earners would draw more attention to her and her behaviors.</p>
<p>Simply put, Negan couldn't have destroyed her carefully-laid plans more thoroughly if he had been trying to do so.</p>
<p>Besides, if she was cleaning areas where important Savior business was being laid out, she might overhear information she would be better off not knowing. If Negan found out that Collins wasn't deaf after all, he would have more of an incentive to come after her. Traveling west promised to be enough of a challenge without having to spend the first few hundred miles trying to avoid Negan and his Saviors.</p>
<p>But there was still hope, as she reminded herself as she pulled the notepad up once more and began to write. It took a while to phrase her thoughts properly and Negan chuckled. "That's a lot of words to say 'Thanks for the promotion, Negan'."</p>
<p>She handed the notepad to him and watched him read, expecting his face to darken as he did so, but the smile remained pasted on his face. <em>I really appreciate the recognition, but I think it would be better if I stayed down here for now. I'm just starting to understand the layout of the place and learn which areas need more effort. It was very kind of you to offer, though! You're a good boss.</em></p>
<p>The flattery was laid on a little thick, but more flies with honey than vinegar and all of that. If it kept her where she needed to be, Collins was willing to sacrifice her ego.</p>
<p>Negan eyed her with amusement, stroking a hand across his salt-and-pepper stubbled jaw. "Kindness has nothing to do with it, doll. I'm running a major operation here and I need to arrange people where they'll be the most efficient. I have six janitors other than you here at the Sanctuary and I pulled all of 'em to the upper levels after your second week here. Didn't you notice that nothing in the lower half of the building got cleaned if you didn't do it?"</p>
<p>Collins had noticed, actually, but assumed that the other workers were taking advantage and hiding. She had dealt with that easily enough. With her love of planning, Collins had soon mapped out the most efficient way of taking care of the lower levels without overworking herself.</p>
<p>However, the bigger concern was that Negan had taken notice of her so early into her stay at the Sanctuary. She hadn't been as invisible as she had believed, and it made her wonder if she had been too obviously scouting the building and its defenses. Maybe he was trying to keep Collins close to better observe her.</p>
<p>When she had shrugged in response to his question, Negan smirked. "Well, I was keeping an eye on how you worked. You kept the lower levels more clean by yourself than the six of them did together before you came here. I want that kind of detail work done in my office and living quarters. Effective tomorrow, the others will go back to the lower levels and you'll take care of the upper levels by yourself."</p>
<p>Collins must have looked unconvinced, because Negan rested a bracing hand on her shoulder. The unnerving warmth of him seeped through her Sanctuary-issued jacket and work shirt, and she fought the urge to shrug away from his touch. "Hey, don't sweat it, sweetheart. You'll do great. It'll be easier than what you're doing now. No butcher's, no mechanic's shop, and you still won't have to take care of living quarters other than mine. It'll be easy peasy."</p>
<p>When Collins raised the notepad to write another set of excuses, he locked fingers around her wrist and pulled the pen away. "I'd like to take this chance to remind you that this is my compound. I'm your leader. I'm the damn boss! I said you'll work in the upper levels, and that's what's gonna happen. If you don't like it, I'll escort you to the fuckin' gates."</p>
<p>She paused, staring at him. Was it as easy as that? Could this be a simple solution to all of her problems? She could simply ask to leave and he would allow it? Collins frowned, tilting her head to the side and Negan laughed. "That's an expression, by the way. I don't let my people walk away, especially when they're good workers. As soon as you agreed to work for me, I owned you. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, doll. Get some sleep after you're done with the kitchen and come to my office on the top floor when you wake up."</p>
<p>Negan moved as if to step away, but remained standing far too close to her, his expression uncharacteristically serious. "Oh, and Collins… Make sure you lock up the garage after you're done for the day. All of the mechanics are already gone and this area is highly restricted. No Sanctuary resident should be in here without a Savior guard, so lock it up before you leave and check it a few times. I'd hate for your pretty head to be on the chopping block!"</p>
<p>He chucked her under the chin and stepped away, looking back to be sure she could see his mouth as he said, "I'll see you sometime tomorrow afternoon. I'm not even making you wake up early! What a great boss, am I right? Your words, not mine!"</p>
<p>Collins could only watch him leave with rising fury, the emotions refusing to settle until she threw a wrench across the room. As it clattered loudly to the floor, it was as though her mind smoothed and her thoughts became logical once more.</p>
<p>Her dedication to leaving had never wavered, but maybe it was time to veer away from her careful plans. She would be awake all night for a work-sanctioned reason and there could never be a better chance to leave the Sanctuary for good.</p>
<p>Half-heartedly, she finished her work in the mechanic's shop and left to repack her bag and collapse onto her creaking mattress for a few hours, carefully leaving the mechanic's shop unlocked. Later that night, Collins woke for dinner, ate, and retrieved her bag before reporting to the kitchen. The chefs and their assistants were finishing the light cleaning they did every night, but they didn't mind as she began to dust the high areas.</p>
<p>Efficiently, Collins worked her way from the ceiling down and had the expansive room sparkling clean in only a few hours. By her best estimation, it was around three a.m., and with any luck, the Saviors on patrol duty would be too tired to take much notice of her walking around.</p>
<p>From the kitchen, Collins turned the opposite direction of the living quarters. The mechanic's shop was one of the only places that boasted both a door to the interior of the Sanctuary and the exterior. From there, it was only a short distance to the greenhouses and farm building, and there was a corner of the chain-link fence surrounding the Sanctuary behind the makeshift barn itself. It would be her best chance for escape.</p>
<p>As the mechanic's shop came into view, Collins's heartbeat sped up. This was going to work, she was going to leave the Sanctuary. Collins scarcely breathed as she pulled her Sanctuary-issued keyring from her pocket and - cupping the keys so they didn't jingle together and make noise - unlocked the door to the mechanic's shop.</p>
<p>The shop was blissfully empty, the chill of the last breaths of winter seeping into the room from the concrete floors and sheet metal walls. There was only a single window as most of the airflow was meant to come from the large garage-style door that took up most of one wall, but moonlight poured through the glass panes. She stepped quietly through the blue-tinted space, careful to avoid any loose pieces of metal that could make sound.</p>
<p>"What the hell are you doing?"</p>
<p>Collins jumped. She couldn't help the reaction, but tried to disguise it by stumbling slightly. She didn't turn to look at the person behind her, but studied the ground as though she were searching for something, subtly slipping the hair tie from her wrist and shooting it across the room.</p>
<p>A rough hand turned her around and Collins found herself staring at the blond Savior with the burn scars on his face. "What are you doing here?"</p>
<p>Looking at his suspicious expression, Collins unleashed a tangle of sign language. He looked confused, and she couldn't blame him. Even if the man had understood sign language, her hands were shaking so badly that she almost couldn't form the words properly.</p>
<p>"I don't understand that," he told her flatly. She sighed inaudibly and pretended to be looking for something, frowning exaggeratedly. "You lost something?"</p>
<p>She nodded and he narrowed his eyes at her. "You can't talk?"</p>
<p>Collins shook her head and covered her ears. "You can't hear?" His expression cleared. "You're that deaf girl, the janitor. Negan has mentioned you. I'm Dwight."</p>
<p>She sent him a halfhearted smile and a shaky wave. "What did you lose?" She held her hair back in a ponytail for a second before bringing her hands back in front of her, stretching her fingers to mime the elastic of a hair tie.</p>
<p>Dwight snorted. "Well, you're not going to find that again, not in here. You aren't even supposed to be in here this late. Why are you awake?"</p>
<p>She mimed cleaning, then cooking. "You were cleaning the kitchen?" Collins nodded. "Well, you shouldn't have taken this detour. You're a long way from the living quarters, you know that? I'll walk you back."</p>
<p>Collins signed a quick <em>thank you</em> though she wanted more than anything to start screaming. She had been so painfully close to leaving. Dwight escorted her all the way back to the bed-filled, sheet-lined halls in silence. Before he left, he said awkwardly, "Look, I'm gonna have to report this to Negan. He takes it pretty seriously when people aren't where they're supposed to be."</p>
<p>Well, that would put an even bigger kink in her escape plans. She pulled her trusty notepad and pen out of her pocket and carefully wrote <em>I understand that you have to tell Negan. I'm sorry, I didn't think about it being so late. I just wanted to get my hair tie back and I think that's where I lost it.</em></p>
<p>He took the note and scanned it for a moment, then gave a quick nod and walked away without saying anything else. Internally swearing at the events of the entire night, Collins made her way to her room and changed for bed, unpacking the necessities from her bag as she did. At least Dwight hadn't asked why she had it with her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Collins didn't wake up until close to eleven. It was the latest she had slept since she left her Philadelphia apartment when all anyone knew was that there were rumors of the dead walking. She spent an extra moment luxuriating in the feeling of having gotten a good night's sleep.</p>
<p>She had expected to be plagued by dreams of not quite leaving the Sanctuary, but if she had dreamed, she didn't remember it.</p>
<p>The next few hours promised to be less than pleasant, however. Collins quickly dressed in her janitorial uniform and ate half of a granola bar before going to the upper levels of the Sanctuary.</p>
<p>She hadn't had occasion to be there before and took a few moments to study her new surroundings with a careful eye. Though she had originally seen the promotion as an unfortunate end to scouting the Sanctuary, it suddenly occurred to Collins that she could explore an entirely new part of the building. She could look for blind spots, find out if there was a guard shift for the upper levels, and otherwise better plan her escape.</p>
<p>The upper levels of the Sanctuary were far removed from the lower levels. Down where the regular people worked and ate and slept, the building was showing its age. The paint was chipped and peeling, most of the metal had spots where rust was beginning to show through, and the windows were covered in such thick grime that the outside world seemed tinted a sickly gray worthy of the dead that lurked beyond the Sanctuary's walls. The air on the lower levels was stuffy and filled with the smells of people who had to choose between hygiene supplies and other necessities.</p>
<p>Up here, everything looked as fresh and clean as it likely had when the world had only just started to fall. This area appeared to have been the administrative section of the factory. The hall Collins stood in was lined with doors in regular intervals along one wall while the other was filled with windows of glass so clear she couldn't immediately see the panes. There were no scuff marks or broken corners up in the high points-earning sections of the Sanctuary and Collins found herself somewhere between awestruck and furious at the differences.</p>
<p>"Hey, you! Who are you?"</p>
<p>The man speaking to her was a Savior, Collins could tell from the arrogance and harshness in his voice. She didn't turn, in keeping with the life she had developed here, but he walked up and stepped around her to catch her eye.</p>
<p>The man repeated his question and Collins answered in sign language. His face cleared, breaking into a wide, mildly mocking smile. "Oh, you're the deaf girl! Negan said you'd be up here sometime today. Follow me."</p>
<p>Collins followed the Savior, unable to suppress a tired roll of her eyes as they walked. Would she forever be trailing after some Savior or another as long as she remained in the Sanctuary? This one in particular seemed to idolize Negan, if she were to judge by the black leather jacket and the boots. The Savior's jacket was made from a cheap material - certainly not real leather - and was beginning to crack where it drooped between his shoulder blades. He was far too thin for the garment, but Collins wasn't going to be the one to burst his bubble. He might even have gone so far as to wrap barbed wire around a baseball bat and then where would she be?</p>
<p>Soon enough, the Savior led her up a narrow staircase to an ornate door. He knocked twice, then led Collins through. She found herself in a long, hardwood-floored hallway. At the end was a kitchenette area and a wide awning to the left spoke of some kind of sitting room.</p>
<p>Had this been the strangest factory on Earth or had the Saviors built a house on top of the factory for their beloved leader? Questions, questions, but no one who would answer.</p>
<p>The last door on the right side of the hallway was closed, but the Savior knocked on that with as much confidence as he had the first door. While they stood waiting to be admitted, Collins glanced around, accidentally catching the curious stares of several women in the expansive room across the hall. It was indeed a sitting room, but all of the women lounging around in an black dresses of various styles made it appear to be a warehouse filled with department store mannequins - each dressed for a different occasion, but all on display.</p>
<p>"Who the fuck is it?" Negan's voice called from behind the door.</p>
<p>"Brandon," the Savior replied and Collins had to suppress a smirk since she wasn't supposed to have heard his answer. Brandon was not an intimidating name. But then, 'Negan' hadn't held a threatening tone until she had experienced the unstoppable force behind the name.</p>
<p>"Get in here," the man himself ordered.</p>
<p>Brandon stepped into the room, stopping just inside the door so that Collins couldn't follow. "I found that janitor lady wandering the upper levels. Do you want her in here?"</p>
<p>"Not in the slightest," Negan replied, voice so dry that Collins craved a glass of water. "I'd rather just sit here, covered in dust and the mountains of hair shed by my <em>lovely</em> wives."</p>
<p>Suddenly, the way into Negan's office was cleared and Collins entered the room, glancing around curiously. She hadn't given Negan's office enough thought to have formed any expectations, but she certainly wasn't prepared for the room to look so… ordinary.</p>
<p>Negan sat behind a large desk, writing with a cheap ballpoint pen on some notebook paper. The desk was cluttered with other mundane nonsense, such as a coffee mug filled with other pens, a solar-powered lamp, and a few picture frames. On the other side of the desk were two armchairs - mismatched, but still in fairly good shape - and there was even a real-life potted plant in the corner closest to the windows.</p>
<p>When Negan continued to not look at the new arrivals, Brandon cleared his throat. "Here she is, boss."</p>
<p>Negan's dark eyes remained fixed on the paper under his hands. "Yep."</p>
<p>"One deaf girl, delivered ahead of schedule. Must have been that one-day Prime shipping," Brandon rambled, somehow unaware of the temperature dropping after the first three words of speech.</p>
<p>At last, Negan looked up to stare pointedly at Brandon, who finally caught on. Paling abruptly, he said, "I'll just head out then, sir. I've got gate duty in a half-hour."</p>
<p>"No, stay," the leader of the Saviors said, his easy tone not changing the fact that it had been an order. With deliberate slowness, he plucked the small pair of glasses from his face, folded them, and placed them on the desk. "Would you care to repeat what you just said to me?" Brandon started to speak and Negan slammed his hands down on the desk. "And if you say you have gate duty, I'll throw you out of my window. You'll be on time for gate duty, then."</p>
<p>Brandon's breathing sped slightly. "I said that I brought you your deaf girl, then I-"</p>
<p>"No, no. That's enough. Did you ask the deaf girl her name?" Negan's voice was calm, even gentle, but something vicious lurked in his face.</p>
<p>"She can't talk…" Brandon trailed.</p>
<p>Negan stood and Collins almost felt bad for her young Savior escort. "Did you ask her that? Because I know for a fucking fact that she can speak when she wants. And if she didn't, I gave her a notepad and a pen so she can even communicate with dumbasses like yourself. And even if you had no such helpful hints at all, you know what else you could have called her?"</p>
<p>Silence fell in the room as Brandon and Collins waited for Negan to speak, but he just sat in the quiet with them. At last, he sighed, stepping around his desk. "That wasn't a rhetorical <em>fucking</em> question, moron."</p>
<p>"I- could have called her the janitor?" Brandon asked, a squeak in his voice betraying his fear as Negan crept closer.</p>
<p>"Now, who says you're the dumbest shit stick to ever live here, huh?" Negan congratulated, pat-slapping Brandon's cheek in a move that forcibly reminded Collins of countless Italian gangster films. "Her name is Collins. Remember that. Dismissed."</p>
<p>Brandon had disappeared from the office before the final syllable of Negan's sentence fell. Negan watched him leave and closed the gaping door behind the young Savior. When he finally turned to Collins, he asked, "How much of that did you catch?"</p>
<p>She pinched her forefinger and thumb together, leaving only a fraction of space between them. She smiled sarcastically as she did to convey that she had understood the entire conversation.</p>
<p>"Fuck," he said tiredly. "I don't understand the disrespect, I really don't. You're a human being, a person. Calling you that… it's reducing you to your least important quality. There are enough people who aren't people anymore without us taking all the humanity from the living ones."</p>
<p><em>I don't care that he called me the deaf girl,</em> Collins wrote carefully. <em>First, it's true and second, it's my only defining trait besides my eyes.</em></p>
<p>Collins could tell when he reached the part about her eyes because he glanced up with a frown. She waited until his gaze met hers and batted her eyelashes at him. His face broke out into a wide grin and an answering expression sprouted on her face.</p>
<p>"Hot damn!" Negan said abruptly, shoving the notepad back into Collins's hands. "I know what we're gonna do today!"</p>
<p>With that, he reached for the radio clipped to the back of his belt and called for every off-duty Savior to meet in the rec room. While he did so, Collins turned to the windows. She pretended to be taking in the view - Negan could indeed see the front gates of the Sanctuary - but she was dealing with an inner sense of turmoil. Why had it bothered her to see Negan so serious and disappointed? Why had she put forth the effort to make him smile?</p>
<p>Gentle fingers brushed her shoulder and Collins jumped. "I'm sorry," Negan apologized, eyes still sparkling from his earlier mirth. "Follow me; there are some people who need to meet you."</p>
<p>He led her back through the strange apartment-like set of rooms into the living quarter hallways once more. A few twists and turns later, they were in a large room that seemed to have been a gymnasium at some point. Now, the Saviors used the space to house several rooms at the same time. In one area, couches sat around a large coffee table in an obviously informal setting for conversation. A different area held a long table lined with mismatched chairs in a scene reminiscent of a conference room. Yet another area held a pool table and a wall bar stocked with various types of alcohol. The final quadrant of the room held a makeshift indoor gym.</p>
<p>Collins bit back a groan with effort. The workers downstairs spent every waking moment working or attempting to provide for their simplest needs while the Saviors and other top point-earners had so little to do that they had created a recreation room? For all that Negan kept his people safe, Collins was continuously struck by the fact that the lives of Sanctuary residents were not the best.</p>
<p>The large room was packed full of Saviors. There couldn't have been many guarding the gates and walls or doing patrols if all of these people were off-duty. Collins looked around and recognized a few faces here and there, but there were too many bodies for her to see more than a handful of familiar Saviors.</p>
<p>Negan gave a piercing whistle, and it was a good thing Collins had caught his lips pursing from the corner of her eye. As it was, it took everything in her not to jump at the sound.</p>
<p>"Pay attention, people!" he shouted with utterly unnecessary volume. The room had gotten a great deal more quiet as Negan had stepped inside and the noise level had dropped off entirely by the time he had whistled. "We have something we need to discuss."</p>
<p>Negan rested on Collins's shoulder and gave a slight squeeze. She turned slightly so she could pretend to read his lips. "This here is Collins. Those of you with lower level duties may recognize her as the only janitor we have who does her damn job. Collins has generously agreed to bring her cleaning skills to the upper levels. Collins is deaf. She reads lips and does a hell of a job with it. Sometimes you'd even swear she could hear you."</p>
<p>Collins's heart skipped a beat, leaving her chest painfully silent for a moment before it kicked back and began pounding faster than ever. She forced a small smile at Negan's praise, but squirreled the joke away for consideration later on. There was scarcely a joke in existence that didn't contain a hint of truth. If Negan was joking about her ability to hear, there was some part of him that knew the she wasn't telling the full truth - or at least suspected it.</p>
<p>"Collins doesn't need an escort to my office, she knows the way now. Don't ya, darlin'?" She nodded and he continued. "If you need her attention, you'll have to stand somewhere she can see you. If she needs to tell you something, she'll write it out in the handy-dandy notepad I gave her. If you see her writing something, you stick the fuck around and wait for her to finish that shit. Don't rush her or you won't be able to read her godawful handwriting. Any questions?"</p>
<p>There actually were a few, to Collins's shock. Most covered what she would and would not be responsible for cleaning around the Sanctuary's upper levels. Negan once again emphasized that she would not be cleaning bedrooms, only common areas, bathrooms, and his office. If there was a large mess and Collins needed help, someone would be sent to retrieve another janitor from the lower levels.</p>
<p>After all the questions had been answered, Negan dismissed the Saviors, a few of whom came up to introduce themselves to Collins. It turned out that sign language was nowhere near as rare as she had believed. Most explained that they had a relative with hearing issues and had learned it for them.</p>
<p>Halfway through a heartwarming conversation with a female Savior who was explaining about the hearing loss her mother had experienced late in life, Negan pulled Collins away. "Okay, okay, glad you all want to chat it up with my girl, here, but we've got places to be."</p>
<p>'Places' turned out to be his office once more. They had a brief conversation about Collins's upcoming promotion. After Collins had verified that she understood everything he had told her, Negan gave a decisive nod.</p>
<p>"Okay, now for the grand finale. Do you know anything about my wives?"</p>
<p>
  <em>There are four of them in total. They get full access to the cafeteria and marketplace, but mostly stay up here.</em>
</p>
<p>"That's pretty much it," Negan agreed after reading Collins's answer. "I'm going to introduce you to them. They can be a little much at first."</p>
<p><em>That's not necessary,</em> Collins scrawled hastily. <em>As long as they don't try to talk to get my attention, I'll just stay out of their way.</em></p>
<p>Negan frowned at the pad. "I can't even read that shit, sweetheart. Try harder next time." He tossed the pad back to her. As Collins fumbled to catch it without wrinkling too many pages, he grinned.</p>
<p>"I'll assume you were just thanking me for being so damn polite! Not a problem, doll. The important thing to remember with my wives is that you work for <em>me</em>, not them. The apartment being cleaned is a privilege, not a right. And we won't feel much like doing favors if they start being demanding, will we?" Collins wasn't sure if he was implying that she had some choice in her job - she didn't - or if he was using the royal 'we', so she didn't respond. "Anyway, let's go set some ground rules, shall we?"</p>
<p>Collins obligingly followed him out to the plush living room across from his office. The room was fairly large, but not extravagant. At first, the area seemed overwhelmingly nice, but Collins soon began to pick up on the details. The coffee table seemed to have been rescued from somewhere untouched by the apocalypse, but the corners were dinged - likely from some less-than-careful Savior collecting furniture. A futon resting against one wall seemed to be in good shape, other than one leg, which had been replaced by a spindly-looking wooden attachment. Even the magazines lying around had seen better days.</p>
<p>However, Collins's attention was soon drawn to the four women in the room. Each one wore a black dress and she would have known who they were even without Negan's explanation. She recognized Sherry. Dwight's ex-wife was the one most people mentioned when they talked about Negan's wives. The drama of one of Negan's top lieutenants running away with his ex and Negan's current wife had caused such an uproar that it was still talked about long after Dwight's face had healed. Sherry was slender with dark hair and a stubborn chin. As always, she looked unimpressed by Negan's antics.</p>
<p>The other three women were unknown to her, and Negan's explanations weren't helpful. "This is Tanya, that's Amber, and the last one is Frankie. Impressive, right?"</p>
<p>Did he realize that Collins could not have read his lips and watched where he was pointing if she was really deaf? As a result of playing her part, Collins missed which woman was who, but she was certain she would find out.</p>
<p>"...and this is Collins," Negan finished.</p>
<p>"Another wife?" a ginger-haired woman asked, cocking a hip out as she arched an eyebrow at Negan.</p>
<p>"Not yet, she isn't," Negan told her with a wink at Collins. "She's the new janitor for the upper levels."</p>
<p>"Good, because our room is starting to get dusty," the blonde said, flipping long hair away from her pretty face.</p>
<p>"Now hold the hell on. I've told you before: the janitors don't clean your room. All I need is for one of you to steal someone's lipstick and blame it on Collins, then I have to beat her to death only for it to 'mysteriously' show up a few days later." Negan shook his head in disgust, resting a hand on Collins's shoulder, his fingers brushing the nape of her neck. "She's going to clean this area, my office, the kitchen, the bathroom, and my room."</p>
<p>"So she can clean your room, but not ours?" the final woman asked. The words were challenging, but her tone made it more of a clarification question.</p>
<p>"Do I look like I have time to clean my own damn room? I have an empire to run! She'll be here at least a few times a day, so be nice."</p>
<p>After a brief explanation of Collins's deafness and ability to read lips - <em>why</em> did she have to be here for this, again? - Negan glanced around at his wives. "She has her own stuff to get done, especially since she has the upper levels all to herself. Don't be distracting her with stuff you could do yourselves. Understood? Sherry? Tanya? Amber? Frankie?"</p>
<p>Ah, there it was. As Negan checked that his wives understood, each one responded in some way or another to their names. As it turned out, Tanya was the black-haired woman, Amber was the young blonde, and Frankie was the red-head.</p>
<p><em>One of each</em>, Collins thought dryly to herself. <em>Maybe that's why he did it: to keep from confusing himself about which wife was which.</em></p>
<p>A squeeze on the back of her neck brought Collins's attention back to Negan. "Come on, you're done for the day. I'll walk you out."</p>
<p>Obligingly, Collins followed him out, but paused to smile at the wives before she left. Sherry looked startled at the gesture, Amber ignored her entirely, Tanya smiled back, and Frankie gave a little wave. Honestly, Collins had been expecting worse. They could still prove to be the worst part of this new job, but only time would tell.</p>
<p>When they were back at the door leading down to the main upper levels, Negan stopped her with a light brush of his hand against her arm. "You'll start and end each shift in my office. If I'm not here for some reason, write down what time you came in and what time you left so we can keep your points accurate. When you come in the morning, I'll let you know about any special areas that need attention, but otherwise, you're free to roam. You did a great job with the lower levels, and I trust you to do the same up here."</p>
<p>Collins nodded, but Negan gave a fierce frown. "I got a report from Dwight this morning. You want to tell me exactly what the fuck you thought you were doing in the mechanic's shop last night?"</p>
<p>Just as she had the previous night, Collins mimed stretching a hair tie between her fingers, gesturing to the bottom of the braid she had secured with a tattered length of yarn.</p>
<p>Negan's dark eyes were filled with disappointment and the beginnings of anger. "Yeah, that's what he told me you said. That's a dumbass reason and you know it. I told you that the mechanic's shop is kept secure and that no one should be in there. You disobeyed a direct order for a glorified rubber band?"</p>
<p>Collins bowed her head, if only to hide the panic she wasn't sure she could keep from her eyes. A moment later, he lifted her chin himself. She shouldn't have been shocked that he wasn't done talking.</p>
<p>"If anyone else had done that, they would've met Lucille, or at very least, gotten the iron. Fuck knows why, but I'm gonna let this one incident slide for you." Collins signed thank you until he pulled her hand away from her mouth. "Don't fucking thank me. I'm not sure why I'm doing this, but I'm damn sure that I won't be doing it a second time. You have a lot more freedom than most Sanctuary residents, but I can't have you wandering around, especially after working hours. You feel me? I need to know that you can obey orders and not go into Savior-exclusive areas unless you're specifically told - by me - to go in for cleaning. Can you do that for me?"</p>
<p>Collins nodded effusively and Negan sighed. "You should be damn glad you're such a good worker. As a way to say 'Let's start on the right foot,' I got you this."</p>
<p>He handed her a small, plastic-wrapped package. Collins studied the package for a moment before realizing that it was an unopened set of hair ties. Judging from the market prices, she was holding 150 points worth of 'let's start over'. Collins signed a shaky 'thank you', which Negan waved away as he reached for the door.</p>
<p>As he pulled it open, he loomed over her and used the height difference to drop a grin in her direction. "I feel like I'm on a first date here! Should we kiss or is that moving too fast?"</p>
<p>She wished she could talk, so she could say something clever about her father and a shotgun, but there was no way to act it out without looking strange and the moment would be ruined by the time she wrote it all down. Instead, Collins just smiled and waved him away before she left.</p>
<p>Collins was halfway down the staircase to the upper levels before she thought to wonder what moment she had been worried about ruining.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Before she knew it, Collins had slipped into a routine: report to Negan in the morning, where he would make a note of what time she arrived. Collins wasn't required to start work before eight in the morning, but she rarely came to his office past 7:45. Punctuality was part of it, but the larger part was that Negan frequently added points to cover the extra time she spent working.</p>
<p>Not that she was truly desperate for extra points - it seemed that Negan was determined to give them to her on a near-daily basis. Once, he had awarded her an extra two points for scrubbing some long-lived grime from the wall. Another time, she received three points for wiping the mirror in the private bathroom attached to his bedroom. He had even given her a point once for making him laugh.</p>
<p>In her first month at the Sanctuary, Collins had earned eleven points after her expenses had been taken out and she had spent all of them on hygiene supplies. Her second month, she had again earned eleven net points and saved most of them toward her toolkit. She had just received her new points total a few days prior and she had earned thirty-seven net points in her third month, and that was just from a week working on the upper levels.</p>
<p>She had gone to see the accountant and found that Negan had given her a pay raise. Collins now earned 170 points every month. She still lost most of them to food and rent, but Negan's bonuses helped her earn even more. He had also given her a frankly ridiculous number of points for 'discovering a safety issue in a lower-level closet'.</p>
<p>After doing some mental math, Collins soon figured that she was 102 points away from her toolkit. That was the equivalent of roughly three months of work, and even then, if Negan continued to award her bonuses…</p>
<p>If all went well, she could leave the Sanctuary in a few months, in the middle of summer when the days were longest. With a steady pace and the flashlight from the toolkit, she could be a good bit further south before winter hit. She may even have found a place to create her haven by then!</p>
<p>Leaving soon was key. Negan hadn't made any more references to Collins not being deaf, and it was a good thing - cleaning the upper levels meant that she occasionally overheard a meeting of Saviors discussing their business in the area. Apparently, not every group was brought to the Sanctuary. Some were left where they were and forced to produce goods for the Saviors.</p>
<p>Overhearing meetings was also how she discovered that not all of the Saviors liked or even respected Negan. A number of them verbally trashed him in groups - groups large enough that Collins began wondering if she should just flee the Sanctuary without her toolkit. The tools would come in handy, however, especially the flashlight. Besides, something in her didn't sit right at the idea of leaving Negan to head off a rebellion alone.</p>
<p>Maybe it was because of the extra points or some twisted form of Stockholm Syndrome, but Collins was beginning to enjoy Negan's company. When he wasn't trying to flirt with her, they had fairly good conversations. He was more educated than his bearing let on and, when he stopped being The Leader Of The Saviors and acted like a normal person, he was just as funny in a far less grating way.</p>
<p>She didn't even mind working around his wives anymore. They stayed out of her way and she stayed out of theirs, though she was starting to learn their quirks. Sherry was quiet and the most likely to try to interact with Collins, Frankie was down-to-earth and didn't let Negan get away with anything, Tanya was content to keep to herself while she read voraciously, and Amber - though petty and childish at times - could be cheerful and energetic when the mood struck.</p>
<p>It wasn't a bad job, and Collins found herself cleaning the penthouse apartment more than anywhere else. Negan and his wives weren't necessarily messy, but she was cleaning their living spaces (except for the wives' bedroom) compared to the hallways outside the top point-earner rooms.</p>
<p>Negan had requested that she pay close attention to his office. As he put it, "Sometimes, I have to bring in some moron or another who thought they could get away with something. I can't have my office looking like an abandoned hospital or some shit. That's scary in the wrong way."</p>
<p>It made an odd sort of sense, like most other things Negan did. For all that he pretended he was naturally cruel and boisterous and violent, there was a great deal of planning that went into his carefully-crafted intimidating persona.</p>
<p>Toward the end of one afternoon, Collins found herself thoroughly dusting Negan's office. She had cleaned his bookshelves and assorted surfaces carefully, removing all items and dusting before placing each cleaned object back. She had left his desk until last, hoping he would leave so she could avoid disturbing the piles of paperwork scattered across the surface. However, she had finished the last of the shelves and he still sat frowning at a document.</p>
<p>As she approached, Negan looked up over the top of his reading glasses. "Don't worry about my desk, Collins. Dust can't even reach it under all of this. Just clean some of the decorative bullshit and we'll call it good."</p>
<p>Collins nodded and began picking up and wiping off some of the items on his desk. A baseball signed by a bunch of people she had never heard of, a smooth river rock she would bet he used as a paperweight, and an ornately-wrought dagger that looked as though it should have been locked up in a museum somewhere. She was tempted to ask where the dagger had come from, but Negan was frowning fiercely at the paper now and she didn't want to interrupt whatever staring contest he was in.</p>
<p>There were only a handful of framed photographs on the desk. The first was of a small house, with a cheerful-looking flower bed and a well-tended yard. The second was of a motorcycle. Collins didn't have the slightest knowledge of motorcycles, but it looked polished enough to be the pride of some kind of collector.</p>
<p>The last frame held a different sort of picture. In it, a couple stood in front of the small house and the motorcycle was parked in the driveway. A pretty, red-haired woman stood with her arms wrapped around Negan. Both were laughing, though the woman's eyes were on the camera while Negan watched her with love in his eyes. Collins was far from an expert on human behavior, but she was willing to bet that the woman was Lucille.</p>
<p>If Collins was correct, and he had loved Lucille so deeply, it would explain his collection of wives. If you couldn't have quality, quantity would suffice, right?</p>
<p>Suddenly aware that she had been holding the picture frame for far too long, Collins wiped it a final time and set it back on Negan's desk. He glanced at her, curious from the length of time that had passed, but understanding dawned on his face as he looked at the picture.</p>
<p>Negan cleared his throat. "You about done for the day?" Collins nodded and he opened his mouth to say something else when the sounds of a screaming argument echoed from the living room.</p>
<p>His dark gaze met Collins's as the sound of shattering glass reached them. He rolled his eyes. "Big fight going on out there," he said, jerking a thumb in the direction of the living room. "Sounds like somebody, probably Amber, broke something glass. Normally, I'd make them clean it, but they're all in dresses and heels. What'd'ya say? Clean it up and I'll let you get outta here a little early?"</p>
<p>Collins gave a small salute and Negan laughed, waiting until she had reached the door and glanced back before he remarked, "Hot."</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes at him even as she smiled and went to clean the mess. Negan had been right, Amber had thrown a glass. Not one of the wives' delicate-stemmed wine glasses, either, but one of Negan's scotch tumblers. It had hit the wall beside the rickety couch; Collins could see the dent in the drywall where the heavy glass had made contact.</p>
<p>As Collins balanced on the balls of her feet to pick up the larger shards, Amber - having made her point - flounced to the couch and hurled herself down onto it. The much-abused replacement leg of the couch, having had a long, weary life already, simply collapsed and set the couch tilting at a dangerous angle.</p>
<p>Amber screamed at the motion and Collins had to fight back an urge to do the same. The couch, stuttering forward slightly, had knocked the elbow of the hand holding the glass shards. She had tightened her hand reflexively and one large shard had bitten deeply into her palm.</p>
<p>Amber continued her rant as though she had never stopped, now bemoaning the poor quality of the items Negan provided for them. She didn't stop even when the other wives checked that she was okay. To add to the chaos, Negan threw open the door to his office and began shouting questions about what was going on.</p>
<p>During it all, Collins attempted to breathe deeply even as she uncurled her hand and pulled the broken chunks of scotch tumbler out of her palm. The sight of the wound nearly made her sick; she would most definitely need stitches.</p>
<p>She cradled the hand to her chest, careful to not let anything touch the cut, but the motion itself made black spots dance around the corners of her vision.</p>
<p>"Wait. Settle down! <em>Shut the fuck up!</em>" Negan roared, finally bringing to room to quiet once more. "Where is Collins? Is she still here?"</p>
<p>"Who?" Amber asked petulantly, though she definitely knew who Collins was. "I almost died because of your crappy sofa and you're worried about some deaf janitor?"</p>
<p>Negan laughed, but it was not a happy sound. His voice, when he spoke, was menacing. "You watch that pretty little mouth, wife, or you'll be a divorced worker before I can find a new couch. Now, where is Collins?"</p>
<p>"Oh," Frankie said softly, just behind Collins's shoulder. "Oh, you poor thing. Negan… it's bad. Get Doctor Carson up here right now."</p>
<p>"What?" Negan snarled, voice sounding abruptly closer. Collins could tell when he spotted the problem because he swore violently. She heard the snap of a radio coming off of a belt and then, "I need Carson to the penthouse. <em>Now.</em>" A momentary pause. "Calling Dee, Simon, whoever is available. Somebody give me a fucking copy."</p>
<p>There was an answering crackle of static that could have contained the word 'copy'. Collins couldn't confirm it, not with the roaring in her ears that she couldn't suppress. She couldn't tear her darkening gaze away from the blood pouring from her palm long enough to get someone to talk to her instead of about her. Vaguely, she wondered how much longer she had until she fell unconscious.</p>
<p>Without preamble, Collins was lifted up and carried to another section of the apartment. By the time she had mastered the dizziness and nausea brought on by the motion, Collins was being gently deposited onto a plush armchair and Negan had stepped toward a small cabinet against one wall. She knew from cleaning the apartment that every cabinet contained a sparse collection of alcohol.</p>
<p>For a moment, Collins thought she was in his office, but the light was wrong. The window in Negan's office looked out to the east and he could watch over the main gate. If Collins was to guess from the blazing light of the setting sun, she would say that the window in this room pointed west. Negan's bedroom</p>
<p>Negan returned to sit in the chair beside hers, holding two scotch tumblers in his hands. One was slightly overfilled, but still at an acceptable level while the other was full nearly to the brim. He handed her the full one.</p>
<p>"Drink up," he commanded grimly. "Alcohol is the only anaesthetic the Sanctuary has left and I'm out of everything but tequila."</p>
<p>Collins <em>hated</em> tequila, but if it was a choice between drinking it or letting someone sew her hand shut without anything to numb the experience, she could live with the taste. She swallowed a solid quarter of the drink before allowing herself a grimace at the flavor. Negan grinned at the reaction - the first expression she had seen him wear after the accident other than anger or concern. Ignoring him, Collins steadily drank until the glass was only as full as Negan's.</p>
<p>She wanted to drink more of it, despite the burning in her throat and stomach from such a large amount of alcohol, but set it aside before resting her head on the back of the chair and closing her eyes.</p>
<p>If she was lucky, the tequila had been enough to kill some of the pain without loosening her up to dangerous levels. Collins had always been a cheerful, chatty drunk. She couldn't afford to be even tipsy at the Sanctuary, as much as it would have made the situation more bearable.</p>
<p>A soft touch on her knee made Collins open her eyes. "What the hell were you thinking?" Negan asked, his tone more casual than his words.</p>
<p>She shrugged but gave no other answer. She could barely keep her eyes open.</p>
<p>"What was your plan? To keep quiet until you bled out from your palm? Or were you just going to leave and go wrap it with a sock or something?"</p>
<p>How was she supposed to answer him? He didn't know sign language and, while she had injured her non-dominant hand, she certainly wasn't going to write out what she wanted to say. Negan wasn't bothered by her silence. She scoffed internally, feeling uncharitable. He probably preferred when no one else spoke so there were no interruptions.</p>
<p>"I take care of my people, Collins. I know it was an accident, but why didn't you get someone's attention? If Frankie hadn't seen you, how long would it have taken you to let us know that you were hurt? I know I seem like a hard-ass, but I care about you." Collins was too relaxed not to tense up at the confession. Negan spoke quickly to dismiss it. "After all, where else would I find another janitor?"</p>
<p>Collins tapped the floor twice with the toe of her work shoe, quirking an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Negan shook his head, "None of them are what I need. They aren't hard-working or loyal, they don't make me laugh…"</p>
<p>Turning his words around in her alcohol-addled mind, Collins stared at Negan.</p>
<p>He was serious, more so than she had ever seen him. There was no hint of a smile on his expressive face and his dark eyes were earnest.</p>
<p>"Collins…"</p>
<p>"What happened?" Doctor Carson asked, bursting through the door.</p>
<p>Negan's face shuttered abruptly, his expression covered by the mask of a smile he wore. "Ya ever heard of knocking, Doc? This is still my fucking bedroom after all."</p>
<p>"I apologize, sir," Doctor Carson said dryly. "Your men made it seem urgent, as did your wives."</p>
<p>"My wives," Negan repeated with a snort. "My wives are the reason this happened in the first place. Collins was picking up pieces of shattered glass when one of them knocked into her and she squeezed. There are a few cuts on her palm, but one of them is really deep. Pretty sure it's gonna need some stitches."</p>
<p>Carson had started examining Collins's hand before Negan had finished his explanation. He apologized a few times as he moved her wrist or fingers, but the tequila had numbed the sharper sensations and Collins didn't feel much pain from his examination.</p>
<p>"Any numbness?" She shook her head. "Can you still move all of your fingers?" A nod. "Is there any glass left in the wounds?" She shook her head, but wasn't entirely sure. "I'll check, just to be safe. You might be better off looking away."</p>
<p>It would have been really convenient to be able to explain that looking away would make it worse, but Collins was trapped by the nature of her disguise. If only she had claimed to be blind instead! Of course, she probably wouldn't have been here in that case. Negan had only promoted her so that he would have a janitor who couldn't overhear anything to use against the Saviors.</p>
<p>A sharp pain brought Collins back to awareness and she tensed, sitting upright to stare down at the doctor as he prodded each cut. He palpated every wound delicately to check for glass, and she could tell he was taking care not to cause undue pain, but it still hurt.</p>
<p>"No glass," he eventually announced. "Has the wound been cleaned?"</p>
<p>"Not yet," Negan answered. He lifted Collins's glass, asking, "Are you going to drink any more of this?"</p>
<p>When she shook her head, he dumped the remaining tequila over her palm. It took every bit of strength Collins possessed to fight both a scream and unconsciousness. As a result, she let out a hoarse whimper at the sting.</p>
<p>Carson tried to soothe her through the pain, but Negan held up his own glass to the light. Collins vaguely remembered him holding the half-filled tumbler under her palm to catch the tequila that had run over her wound.</p>
<p>"A damn shame to waste tequila that way…" he mused, a twisted light entering his eyes.</p>
<p>"I wouldn't drink that," Carson warned as he prepared the needle for stitches. Trying to focus on anything other than the doctor's needle, Collins shook her head at Negan, too.</p>
<p>"Do you have anything nasty in your blood? Anything that would hurt me?" Collins stared at him, knowing she was making a horrified face, but unable to stop it.</p>
<p>Carson got close again and Collins tensed, knowing what was about to happen.</p>
<p>"Aren't ya listening to me, sweetheart? You got any diseases or anything like that?" Negan pressed.</p>
<p>Collins slowly shook her head, praying he wasn't about to do what she thought he was. Negan eyed the glass in his hand with speculation, then tossed back the contents. He smacked his lips contentedly while Collins's lip curled.</p>
<p>He caught her gaze. "What? Tequila is good and I can appreciate the finer things in life."</p>
<p>"Avoiding horrible, infectious diseases could be considered one of the finer things in life," Carson pointed out.</p>
<p>Negan only laughed. "Have you missed the dead people walking around outside, Doc? There's only so many things you can be afraid of before you run out of fear."</p>
<p>Collins missed the doctor's response, distracted by a tickling sensation on her palm. She glanced over at it to find that a small line of neat stitches already held part of the wound closed. Carson must have started stitching when Negan drank the tequila. It had been a distraction - disgusting, but effective.</p>
<p>Still, the sight of the little needle flashing in and out of her skin made the room lurch unsteadily as though the Sanctuary itself were collapsing.</p>
<p>"-ins. Collins, look at me. Look at me, doll."</p>
<p>Negan had probably been speaking for a while, but his voice was going in and out like an old radio. Collins was starting to wonder if she was really going deaf.</p>
<p>Abruptly, a hand touched her cheek, turning her gaze away from Carson's diligent stitching. Negan's face filled her vision, eyes filled with concern. He was still speaking, but she couldn't focus long enough to hear him.</p>
<p>His hand patted her cheek - it wasn't hard enough to be considered a slap, but it wasn't gentle, either. It brought Collins slightly back to herself, but she still felt a little woozy.</p>
<p>"-want you to focus on me, Collins," Negan was saying. "You keep those pretty eyes on me, understand? Nod if you understand me." Collins gave a dazed nod and he smiled. "That's my girl. We've got a little bit more to do here, so we're going to chat for a while."</p>
<p>With the hand that wasn't being worked on by a mad scientist (Carson was actually very nice, but Collins's wildly turning mind insisted on painting him as Doctor Frankenstein), she pointed at Negan.</p>
<p>"Aww, you're going to make me talk the whole time? Fine, I suppose I can deal with that burden." Collins snorted. Negan never got tired of hearing himself talk. Seeming to know what she was thinking, he grinned. "Anyway, in case I forgot to tell you, this place is fucking spotless. It's never been this clean, and the Saviors have said the same about their common areas. You've got a damn good work ethic, and you're pretty nice to look at, too. I wonder if it's time to promote you again. How does 'wife' sound for your new title?"</p>
<p>Collins rolled her eyes and shook her head, but the motion accidentally brought her gaze to her hand and she jerked back to Negan immediately.</p>
<p>"Fine, break my heart," he accused, dramatically pressing a hand to his chest. "Heartless woman! I guess I'll just have to entertain myself by watching you work. Those pants do great things for your ass, by the way."</p>
<p>Collins sighed through her nose and Negan's grin disappeared.</p>
<p>He leaned forward to fix her with an intent stare. "Listen, I want you to stay here tonight."</p>
<p>Before he had even finished the sentence, she was shaking her head. "Come on, Collins. The lower levels are full of bacteria. Your stitches could get infected. Right, Doc?"</p>
<p>Doctor Carson snorted as he set his needle aside. "Only if she goes around high-fiving people and letting them lick her palm."</p>
<p>It was an odd image, made stranger by the fact that he had started to smooth an antibacterial ointment around the stitches. Trying to ignore the sensation of the thick substance coating her palm, Collins shot Negan a triumphant grin.</p>
<p>"Shut up," he muttered. "Would you think it's best for her to stay up here for a few minutes at least, Doc? She did have a few shots worth of tequila."</p>
<p>Doctor Carson eyed Collins critically. "I never discourage hydration. I would prefer that Collins drink at least a glass or two of water before she goes to sleep. If she would rather do that here, I would not discourage it."</p>
<p>"Please, doll?" Negan asked, giving an exaggerated pout. "Throw a guy a bone, huh? Don't make me turn it into an order."</p>
<p>With the events of the night, she wanted nothing more than to collapse on her bed and sleep away the pain. She especially didn't want to spend any more time with Negan, who seemed to be in an even stranger mood than usual, but there didn't seem to be a good way around it. Besides, she <em>had</em> consumed more tequila than was wise, even for someone preparing to undergo a minor medical procedure. Collins gave a half-hearted nod.</p>
<p>"That's my girl," Negan effused warmly.</p>
<p>"I'll leave a few aspirin tablets here. Take two before you go to sleep and two when you wake up, Collins. They'll help keep the pain to a minimum."</p>
<p>Collins nodded at Carson's orders. The doctor packed his bag and left in a matter of minutes. It wasn't until the door closed behind him that Collins realized that she and Negan were alone in his bedroom.</p>
<p>"Want a drink?" Negan asked, voice making it clear that he wasn't talking about water. Collins shook her head, but he stood anyway. "I'm having one. It's been a stressful damn night."</p>
<p>And he hadn't even had his hand cut open.</p>
<p>Regardless, when Negan returned with a half-full tumbler of tequila, he drank deeply and sighed as if the alcohol had soothed his nerves. They sat in silence for a few moments until he remembered that she was supposed to be drinking water. Silently, he left and returned a moment later with a full glass of water in hand. Collins drained half the glass before he had even sat down.</p>
<p>"Shit, I guess you were parched, huh?" he asked rhetorically. Collins took another sip as her only answer. Negan finished his own glass and refilled it before getting more water for Collins, this time coming back with a full pitcher.</p>
<p>They sat in silence as Negan sipped steadily at the tequila in his glass. He was drinking almost as quickly as Collins was and she wondered idly why she was still sitting in his bedroom instead of going back to her room on the lower levels. Surely staying here to watch Negan slowly get drunk wasn't helping her hand.</p>
<p>"Collins, I want you to move to an upper level room." Collins stared at him with her eyebrows raised. Was he really going to make her explain that she couldn't afford the extravagance? She set her nearly-empty glass on the desk and raised her right hand to try when he snarled at her. "If you tell me you can't afford it, I'll lose my damn mind."</p>
<p>She dropped her hand quickly, uncertain of how to proceed. Negan sighed and filled her glass from the water pitcher.</p>
<p>"What I meant was… Just... If you want it, I'll get it for you. It wouldn't be charity. You're the only janitor for the upper levels. It would make sense if you got a room up here as part of the job." He smiled weakly. "I have to keep you close in case something happens and I need you in the middle of the night."</p>
<p>Slowly, Collins signed a <em>thank you</em>, but still shook her head.</p>
<p>"Are ya sure you don't want to marry me? You could still tell me 'no', but it wouldn't sting the same way." Collins shook her head again, smiling despite her confusion at Negan's second mention of marriage in the same evening.</p>
<p>Negan laughed, but it was more a sound of self-deprecation than the savage joy he usually showed. "Fuck, I'm losing my touch. I can't even get you to do what I want."</p>
<p>Maybe it was meant to be a joke, but Collins couldn't take it lightly. She had heard the Saviors' whispers and softly-voiced opinions that Negan was falling from power. She just hadn't known that Negan realized it as well.</p>
<p>Negan tossed back the rest of the glass of tequila as if it were a shot and slumped back in his chair, leaning his head against the backrest. "I'm losing control of this place, Collins. I know it looks like I'm the big, badass guy in charge, but I'm not shit if the people turn against me. If my Saviors turn against me." He snorted. "And that's only a matter of time."</p>
<p>"They don't scare the way they used to. They don't follow my orders. Hell, I know they talk about me when I leave the room. Any day now, I'm going to wake up to a mutiny and everything in this damn factory'll burn." Abruptly, Negan picked up his head, eyes sharpening. "But not you, Collins. I won't let them do a damn thing to you. As long as I'm alive, sweetheart, you're safe."</p>
<p>What was happening? Negan was tipsy at the least, but she had never heard his natural confidence fade to this extent. And he certainly had never claimed to have much of a soft spot where Collins was concerned. A few days ago, he had threatened to beat her if she broke one of the random pieces of decoration around his office. Of course, he had said that he would take her over his knee…</p>
<p>Collins leaned forward and patted him gently on the forearm. She finished her glass of water, filled it once more, and handed it to Negan, switching it for the tequila tumbler before he could order her not to. As he stared dumbfounded at the water, Collins took the empty glass back to the small bar cupboard in his room and set it inside. On the way back, she scooped up the aspirin Doctor Carson had left on the desk and walked carefully to the door back into the living room area.</p>
<p>Her hand hurt worse now that she was standing. The slight increase of blood pressure meant that the throbbing was beginning in earnest and Collins was getting more and more excited to take the aspirin and go to sleep.</p>
<p>"Collins…" Negan said softly before she could turn the doorknob, and she barely stopped herself from turning at the sound - one she wasn't supposed to be able to hear. Instead, she opened the door and looked back to find Negan watching her. "I'm sorry you got hurt. I would do anything to keep it from happening again."</p>
<p>In answer, Collins pretended to raise a cup to her lips, then pointed at Negan with a smile. He obediently drank from the glass of water, but did not return the smile. His dark eyes watched her until the door closed between them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, here's the really important disclaimer: Never ingest someone's blood. Seriously. Not only is that gross, it has the potential to spread so many diseases that I rewrote this chapter FOUR times because I was utterly grossed out by the idea of leaving that scene in here. I grimaced the entire time I was writing it. Also, never mix alcohol and painkillers. I hope no one is out here getting medical advice from fan fiction, but I just need to advise you that most of the things in them are a terrible idea. There are many great medical resources on the internet, but this is not one of them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning - This chapter contains physical assault and graphic descriptions of violence. If these are triggers for you, skip this chapter, PM me, and I'll write a milder version to send you. Be warned, friends.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Sanctuary was quiet for the better part of a month after that. Collins worked diligently to keep the upper levels clean and Negan continued to allot her more points than he should. Her savings toward the toolkit were growing.</p>
<p>However, there was a constant feeling of doom. Collins wasn't sure whether it was in her head or not, but all around the Sanctuary were signs of disintegration. The building was the same as it had ever been, but the people inside were showing signs of decline. It seemed that someone robbing the marketplace was a near-daily occurrence and more than one Sanctuary resident had been beaten for some slight or another.</p>
<p>More shocking than all of this was that Negan had not given any kind of response. He spent most days shut in his office, going over paperwork and occasionally calling a handful of Saviors in to discuss things. Few people saw him, and rumors that he had died had swept the Sanctuary on several occasions.</p>
<p>Collins, of course, saw him every day. She was still under orders to report to his office before the start of every shift and before leaving in the early evening. She hadn't truly understood how badly things were going until she was cornered by Negan's wives after her shift ended one night.</p>
<p>"How's your hand?" Frankie asked, sympathy on her expressive face.</p>
<p>Collins shrugged, holding up her left hand to show the scar on her palm. The cut had healed well, closing without any infection or torn edges. Doctor Carson had done a fantastic job, even with Collins panicking through most of the process.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Amber suddenly said. "I really didn't know you had gotten hurt. I felt awful."</p>
<p>"She was actually guilty," Sherry affirmed, sounding like she had been more than a little shocked by the development. "She's wanted to apologize to you since it happened."</p>
<p>"I just- you're hard to catch, you know?" Amber said. "You always go from the office to the front door and never look anyone in the eye. You always look like you're in a hurry to get out of here and I didn't want to stop you."</p>
<p>Collins pulled her notepad from her pocket and carefully wrote, <em>Thank you, but there's no need to apologize. I know the couch was an accident and I'm all healed up - no worries.</em></p>
<p>Amber read the pad before offering Collins the closest she had ever come to a full, heartfelt smile. "Thanks, Collins. I'm glad you're okay."</p>
<p>"Hey, Collins?" Tanya asked softly, not continuing immediately when Collins lifted an inquisitive brow. When she spoke, her voice was so soft Collins had to read her lips for real to understand what she said. "How is he?"</p>
<p>All four women stepped closer, more than one casting furtive glances at the closed door behind Collins's shoulder. She started to write, and paused, pointing to the sofa that was still intact. The wives drew away, regrouping on the plush surface as Collins wrote.</p>
<p>
  <em>He's different. He doesn't say or do much of anything. He doesn't smile or laugh, and I actually had to dust Lucille yesterday. I'm a little worried.</em>
</p>
<p>The pad was passed around, held between wives in a spot that would allow multiple women to read it at once.</p>
<p>"That's what we've been worried about," Tanya said. "He's been quiet."</p>
<p>"Quiet?" Frankie asked with a snort. "We haven't seen him in almost a week. For all we knew, he had died in there!"</p>
<p>Startled, Collins locked eyes with Sherry. It made sense that Sanctuary residents didn't see Negan on a regular basis, but for his wives not to know if he was even alive?</p>
<p>As though she were reading Collins' mind, Sherry shook her head. "He goes into his office early in the morning and doesn't go to bed until after midnight. We don't see him for more than a few moments in a day."</p>
<p>Collins nodded her understanding, but it was a surprise, to say the least. In the span of a few weeks, Negan had lost the big personality that he had been famous for. If even his wives were doubting him, that could mean only one thing: the Sanctuary was falling.</p>
<p>The sound of pacing footsteps came from Negan's office, and Collins turned her head with the rest of the women to stare at the closed door.</p>
<p>"Don't worry," Amber told her, patting her lightly on the arm. "He's just restless. You should go, though. He'll have questions if he comes out here for some reason."</p>
<p>"He won't leave that room," Frankie grumbled, but ushered Collins from the apartment with the other wives all the same.</p>
<p>Collins tried to convince herself that the conversation hadn't meant anything, but she found she couldn't sleep that night. As she stared at the shadowed ceiling and listened to her neighbors snoring through the bedsheet walls, she turned the problem over and over in her mind.</p>
<p>If there was one thing Negan loved, it was to feel important and powerful. The best way to do that was to use those closest to himself to inflate his ego. Negan was a consummate extrovert. He couldn't survive without someone being awed by him. The fact that he had stopped looking to someone to gratify his need for attention said bad things about his mental state.</p>
<p>Collins had known for a while that the Sanctuary was descending from structured society into lawless chaos, but she had never considered that its flashy leader could be taken down with it. Negan had always seemed untouchable, immune to every attack. If his wives were to be believed, he wasn't.</p>
<p>She scoffed at herself. She didn't need to rely on second-hand information from his wives. She had seen for herself how Negan had changed. He hadn't shaved in over a week, his clothes were wrinkled and his hair untamed. Even his eyes seemed to have lost their trademark glint.</p>
<p>The end of the Sanctuary could very well be the end of Negan.</p>
<p>But, for some twisted reason, Collins couldn't let that happen. Coming to that conclusion, she promised herself that she would speak with him the very next day. She was scheduled to clean his office most of the day anyway. Somehow, she would find a way to reach him, to bring him back to his old, dazzling self.</p>
<p>With that decided, Collins turned to her side and fell deeply asleep.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Her plans were not to be.</p>
<p>Collins swore to herself as she hurriedly stuffed her feet into her work shoes and buckled her belt at the same time. She didn't have access to a clock, but judging from the light coming through the high windows, she was already late for work by an hour or more.</p>
<p>She rushed to the upper levels, trying to make it look less like she had overslept. Still, she caught sympathetic glances from many of the main floor Sanctuary workers and her blood ran cold.</p>
<p>Negan had been in such a strange mood lately. How would he react to her being late? More likely than not, he would only yell at her and deduct some points, but what if it would be worse than that? What if he decided that the only way to feel like himself again was to have a good meeting between himself, Collins, and Lucille?</p>
<p>With that lovely thought in her mind, Collins sprinted up the stairs and knocked on the apartment door.</p>
<p>Tanya pulled it open, staring at her with wide eyes. "He's in the shower. Has been for a while. Hurry into his office and maybe he won't realize you were late."</p>
<p>Collins signed a quick <em>thank you</em> and jogged to Negan's office, letting herself in and shutting the door before taking a few deep breaths to slow her heartbeat. After a minute or two of thinking calming thoughts, Collins set to work, dusting the room from the non-operational ceiling fan down.</p>
<p>She was placing freshly-dusted items back on the clean corner bookshelf when she heard the office door open and shut. She kept her eyes on her task until the shelf was filled with random knick-knacks once more, then turned as she steeled herself to meet Negan's gaze.</p>
<p>Instead, Collins found herself facing Brandon. The man she had once thought of as being Negan's biggest fan was now apparently playing the role to its limit. He was lounging back in Negan's chair, shabby leather jacket squeaking against the backrest as he reclined to rest his feet on the surface of the desk. The soles of his worn boots were crushing the papers scattered everywhere, but Brandon didn't seem to care.</p>
<p>Recovering from her shock, Collins sent Brandon a quick smile. After all, he had been the one to escort her to Negan's office on her first day on the upper levels. True, she hadn't seen him since Negan had warned him not to call her 'the deaf girl', but he had seemed harmless enough.</p>
<p>Brandon smiled back, but there was something sickly in the expression that made Collins's stomach turn.</p>
<p>"You're his whore, aren't you?"</p>
<p>Collins blinked at the blunt question, but he only grinned more widely. "Everyone knows you are. The man has four wives, but he's always looking for a new piece of ass. Maybe he'll ask you to marry him, maybe he won't, but it doesn't really matter."</p>
<p>Brandon cupped his hands behind his neck and stared around the room. "Negan won't last much longer. He's losing the Saviors, he's losing the people, and he's losing his balls. No one's scared of him anymore and that was the only reason he was in charge."</p>
<p>She had known things were growing worse, but if Negan had already lost the Saviors, he could be in danger. As Brandon let his boots thump down to the floor, she was forced to deal with a more pressing problem: she was in a fair bit of danger, herself.</p>
<p>"I mean, Negan was the one who was obsessed with getting the old world back. We don't need it anymore. In the old world, you had to worry about who had a college degree or could buy and sell you. Now, everyone strong is already in power and we don't have to ask permission from anyone for anything. We just take what we want." Brandon stood up and Collins didn't think he was harmless at all. "It's time you got used to that, deaf girl. Negan won't be around to keep you safe for much longer and, right now, you're what I want."</p>
<p>He lunged for her and she dodged away neatly, running for the door. Negan's wives weren't necessarily chosen for their ability to kick ass, but surely they wouldn't stand by and let some guy rape her. Brandon recovered quickly, and slammed her up against Negan's desk before she could reach the door.</p>
<p>The sharp wooden edge dug into her stomach and Collins gasped, momentarily stunned as all the air left her lungs. Wedged up behind her, Brandon grabbed roughly at Collins's chest and groaned in her ear.</p>
<p>In one sharp motion, Collins launched her elbow up and back, satisfied by the <em>crunch</em> of breaking cartilage. Brandon reared back, clutching at his now-broken nose, but didn't move further away.</p>
<p>"You bitch!" he shouted. "For that, I'm gonna make it hurt."</p>
<p>"If you touch me, I'll snap your dick in half and use it to splint your nose," Collins threatened, too scared and angry to keep her act going any longer.</p>
<p>Brandon's eyes widened and she saw him grinning behind his cupped hand. "I don't think you're gonna do that, whore. In fact, I think you're gonna kiss my nose all better, then you can move on to my dick. And if you don't, I'll tell Negan that you can hear <em>and </em>speak. He'll kill you for me, and I don't think you've pretended to be deaf this long only to let him smash your skull flat with Lucille. You can avoid that. All you have to do is let me smash you in a fun way."</p>
<p>He pressed his hips closer and Collins fought the urge to gag. "I would quite honestly rather die. You tell him about my lie, and I'll tell him what you tried and how you're ready to overthrow him. He'll kill you painfully, but you can avoid that if you just keep your <em>fucking</em> mouth shut."</p>
<p>She set a quick pace for the door, dodging away from Brandon's grasp and delivering a brutal kick to the back of his knee to knock him to the floor. Brandon was smarter than he seemed, though, grabbing her by the cuff of her work-issue cargo pants and dragging her down to join him on the ground.</p>
<p>Collins could hear the voice of the ex-Marine who taught her to fight hand-to-hand: <em>90% of all fights end up on the ground. Are you gonna let some dumb fuck beat you just because he managed to knock you down? No. Take a second to figure out your plan and take the power back.</em></p>
<p>In the moment it took Collins to catch her breath, Brandon had dragged himself up her body and lifted her shirt to expose her hips and stomach. As he started to work on her belt, she cupped her hands and smacked them over Brandon's ears. He screamed, and if she hadn't punctured an eardrum, she had come damned close.</p>
<p>She tried to push Brandon off of her, but he came in with an unexpected strike to her jaw that left Collins stunned as he unbuckled her belt and worked at the button of her pants.</p>
<p><em>Come on!</em> the voice in her head growled. <em>Fight! Do something! Move!</em></p>
<p>Still, Collins could only lie staring at Negan's freshly-dusted ceiling fan as Brandon finally slipped the button free and worked at his own belt and pants. Colors and darkness swirled at the edges of her vision and she wondered if she would lose consciousness. It might be the better option.</p>
<p>"I hope you're ready for this, bitch. I hope you're ready for me. But if you're not, you'll take me anyway. After the fight you put up, I don't feel like being nice."</p>
<p>Collins frowned. She must be worse off than she had thought, because she could swear she saw Negan - hair wet from his shower - bracing Lucille over his shoulder just behind Brandon's shoulder.</p>
<p>"Funny, neither do I," Negan quipped.</p>
<p>Brandon's eyes widened as he twisted around on top of Collins. "Ne-"</p>
<p>The crack of barbed wire-wrapped wood against a skull was loud in the room, but not as loud as the flood of profanity and threats that poured from Negan's mouth as he swung Lucille again and again. He continued to beat Brandon long after the ex-Savior had become nothing but a fleshy bag of shattered bones.</p>
<p>When Negan was done, he threw Lucille away from him, not flinching as the bat hit a wall and clattered loudly to the floor. He helped Collins stand, buckling her belt when her fingers were too numb to do it herself.</p>
<p>"Are you… Fuck. Are you okay? Did he..?"</p>
<p>Collins shook her head. Despite Brandon's best efforts, he hadn't gotten much further than dragging his boxers down before Negan put a stop to the assault.</p>
<p>Negan nodded and led her over to the couch in his office, the one she had never seen used. Collins sat shakily, trying to ignore the way the blood droplets on her pants smeared against the worn leather. Negan collapsed onto the couch beside her a moment later, looking defeated.</p>
<p><em>Weird</em>, Collins thought. She hadn't seen him beat anyone to death in person, but those stories were popular around the Sanctuary. From everything she had heard, Negan had always seemed energized by killing people, like it satisfied some weird urge in him. But now… <em>He just looks sad.</em></p>
<p>"I've lost them," he said eventually, breaking the silence. "I've lost my men. That was always my one damn rule: no rape. If they're breaking that rule, that means the Sanctuary is gone and I won't be far behind it."</p>
<p>He looked up, locking eyes with Collins as he reached to hold her hands. His every motion was slow, giving her plenty of time to pull away, but she found the gesture comforting. "Collins, I am so fucking sorry. That should never have happened; not in the Sanctuary and definitely not in my own damn office."</p>
<p>She squeezed Negan's hands and he shook his head. "You shouldn't accept my apology. My wives had to come get me out of the shower, and even that took longer than it should have. I've been such a prick lately that they put it off for a while, fought about who should have to talk to me."</p>
<p>Negan laughed, but it was full of self-loathing. "They put your life in danger and it's my fault. You're the only one in this whole place I give a damn about and I can't keep you safe."</p>
<p>Collins tried to keep the shock from her face, but knew some of it had to be showing through. Negan glanced at her and understanding dawned in his eyes. "You didn't know that, did you? Of fucking course not. It's hard to tell with the whole silent thing. Makes you mysterious as hell."</p>
<p>He looked away, falling quiet as Collins studied him. Under the ashamed expression, his features were familiar and comforting. That salt-and-pepper stubble had been shaved away as he showered, leaving his expressive face free from visual distractions. The smile lines framing his mouth spoke of a life filled with joy - savage though some of it had undoubtedly been. The lines radiating from his eyes were more honest, remnants of true smiles rather than ones filled with vengeance. His eyes were dark and frank. Despite what the rest of his face was doing, Collins always knew exactly how Negan was feeling based only on the expression in his eyes.</p>
<p>For the first time since she had decided on this course of action, Collins was truly tempted to speak. If she revealed herself, told him her secret, it would be so much easier. She could reassure him that this wasn't his fault, thank him for stopping the assault, convince him that he needed to leave the Sanctuary before he lost any control of his men. At this point, it was only a matter of time until the Saviors took control - and Collins would be willing to bet that killing Negan would be their first move.</p>
<p>She moved slightly, fixing Negan with a sympathetic stare as she squeezed his hands once more, opening her mouth to speak. Negan's eyes flew up, filled with such a pure, undiluted hope that her heart squeezed. With a start, Collins realized that she was definitely attracted to the man, but worse yet, her feelings may run deeper than simple lust. With sudden clarity, she closed her mouth once more. He could throw off every one of her careful plans. Worse, he wouldn't even have to try. She would give them all up if he would just keep looking at her like that.</p>
<p>When she didn't speak or try to communicate nonverbally, Negan's hopeful expression had faded into one of weary resignation. He released Collins' hands, setting them down with a pat. "Listen, why don't you head out for the day? You've had a hell of a time already, and I don't think you can keep working with all that hanging over your head. I'll get someone else up here to get rid of the shithead."</p>
<p>Collins nodded and stood up, but Negan stopped her with a raised finger. "Hang on, let me get you something."</p>
<p>He walked over to his desk, sitting in his worn desk chair to scrawl something on a piece of paper before handing it to her. She could have read it, but Collins watched Negan instead, waiting for him to explain.</p>
<p>"It's hazard pay," he said with a gesture toward the paper. "Get anything you want from the marketplace. It's on me. Also, stop by laundry and get yourself a new pair of pants, my orders. If you need to take some time before you go out there, I'll send someone else to do it."</p>
<p>Collins shook her head and Negan sighed. "And if you need a few days before you're ready to come up here again, send a note with one of my men. I'll understand. Hell, I'll even reassign you to the lower levels if you decide that's what you want. Just think about and let me know what you decide. You're getting a raise either way."</p>
<p>Before she could respond to the flood of generosity, Collins was ushered from the office and made her way down to the lower levels. As she walked, she read Negan's neat handwriting over and over.</p>
<p>
  <em>Collins gets whatever the fuck she wants. Send me the bill.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Negan</em>
</p>
<p>She could get her toolkit, an extra pair of pants, and make her escape that very night. With so much going right, why did Collins have such a bad feeling about leaving?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Collins went to dinner that night knowing that she was the proud new owner of a toolkit with a crank-powered flashlight, two boxes of granola bars, several travel-friendly outfits, and a brand new pair of hiking boots. Her bag was packed and she could carry it easily when she tested, even with the added weight of her purchases. She had showered and her toiletries were packed. She had even managed to keep three out of four Carson-issued aspirin tablets from when her palm was stitched, and they were safely stowed in a waterproof bag.</p>
<p>All that remained was to eat a good, warm meal and catch some sleep before she left the Sanctuary forever.</p>
<p>As it happened, Collins was in the cafeteria at the same time as Jason and Soph. They spent the meal laughing and chatting about the success of the couple's booth in the marketplace. When Collins rose to leave, they stood as well.</p>
<p>While they walked through the empty corridors outside of the cafeteria, away from prying eyes, Collins handed a carefully written note to Soph, signing to Jason that they should read it when they got a chance. Even as Jason translated for Soph, the older woman unfolded the note and scanned through it quickly. She passed it to Jason when she had finished.</p>
<p>Though Collins knew every part of the note - she had agonized over each sentence - she still fought back a wave of nerves. While she had only attempted to warn Soph and Jason about the precarious state of the Sanctuary's safety, it could technically be read as threatening. If reported to Negan, he would be hurt… not to mention think of Collins as a danger to what remained of his compound.</p>
<p>"Collins, we both know-" Soph slapped a hand over Jason's mouth, interrupting him mid-sentence.</p>
<p>"Sign language, Jason. You can never be too careful."</p>
<p>Jason nodded, heeding her warning and signed slowly to Collins: <em>We both know the Sanctuary is dangerous. We've seen a few incidents in the marketplace and we've been thinking that it's time we took to the road again.</em></p>
<p><em>When are you going to leave? </em>Collins asked.</p>
<p><em>Within the next few days. </em>Jason smiled. <em>We know you're leaving tonight.</em></p>
<p>Collins was aghast. <em>How? Was I obvious?</em></p>
<p><em>Not really</em>, he assured her. <em>Soph and I saw you in the marketplace today. You've been here too long and you're in too good with Negan to be hoarding supplies for no reason. You're planning to leave and we think it's a good idea.</em></p>
<p><em>Both of you should come with me</em>, Collins signed impulsively. <em>I'm heading west. I'm going to find a farm and make it sustainable. I want to build a life again.</em></p>
<p>Jason patted her warmly on the shoulder. <em>Thanks, Collins. Really. But it'll be almost impossible for three people to leave here unnoticed. Besides, we're trying to go south. Soph thinks that the dead won't last long in the heat. She wants to go toward Florida, maybe find a boat.</em></p>
<p><em>That sounds nice</em>, Collins told him.</p>
<p>"I hope it will be," Soph answered aloud, laughing at Collins' surprised expression. "I can't do much more than fingerspell, but Jason's been teaching me how to understand a lot of the basics. Speaking of, tell her the rest and then we need to let this poor girl get some sleep."</p>
<p>Jason smiled. <em>Soph wants me to tell you that, if your farm doesn't work out, you always have a floating home with us. Just make your way south and we'll figure out a way to put up some coded signs.</em></p>
<p><em>As long as you promise to find me and my farm if the boat ends up being a bad idea,</em> Collins returned.</p>
<p><em>Also, because Soph can't let anyone get away with anything-</em> Jason had to pause and rub the sting from the spot where Soph had elbowed him <em>-she wanted me to tell you that we know you aren't deaf.</em></p>
<p>Collins thought about playing off their suspicions, but decided against it. <em>Are you angry that I lied to you?</em></p>
<p>
  <em>No, we both understand. You were traveling alone with the world how it is today. It took a while for us to figure it out, so you're a good actor, and it's obviously worked well for you. But if Negan found out, he would kill you. That's another reason we think you're smart to want to leave.</em>
</p>
<p>Collins glanced from Jason to Soph and back. They had figured out her secret so long ago and had done nothing but support her. <em>Thank you both</em>, she signed to them, putting as much emotion in the movements as she could.</p>
<p>Soph wrapped her into a hug that Jason joined after only a moment. "Be safe," Collins whispered, face hidden between the two.</p>
<p>"You, too," they both returned.</p>
<p>"Now, you'd better go to sleep," Soph said loudly, and Collins didn't have to turn to hear that people were starting to walk through the hallway. "Tomorrow's going to be a long day."</p>
<p>Collins nodded and, with a final smile, walked away from Soph and Jason for the last time.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was just after midnight when Collins gathered her bag and crept from her sheet-walled room. Jason and Soph had surprised her yet again. Her footlocker had contained a set of Soph's waterproof boxes with straps sewn to them so that they could be held closed and slung over one's shoulder. Inside of the bigger boxes were two pairs of Jason's specialty pocket-studded pants.</p>
<p>She silently made her way to the garage. The door opened without a creak - as she knew it would, having carefully oiled the hinges when she had cleaned it last. This marked the end of her ability to feign ignorance. She may have gotten away with wandering the halls of the Sanctuary, but stepping into the garage after Negan's last warning? If she was caught, she would have to fight until she escaped or they killed her. Collins would die before she let someone iron her skin and she would choose a bullet over Lucille any day. She walked across the moon-tinted concrete floor without incident and out the side door, steeling herself for what could come.</p>
<p>Collins thought her heart would pound out of her chest as she crossed the few hundred feet of open lawn between the garage and the area containing both the greenhouse and the farm building. Thankfully, the guards were centered on the main gate on the opposite side of the complex, and her trip was unobserved.</p>
<p>As she passed through the greenhouse, she grabbed every ripe fruit and vegetable she could find. She ended up with a few zucchini, some bell peppers and tomatoes, a solid number of strawberries, and as many peaches as she could pull from the small tree at one end of the building.</p>
<p>With a significantly heavier bag, Collins made her way to the farm building with the general intention of taking a few eggs. She knew they were likely to spoil before she could get far enough away from the Sanctuary to cook them without fear of discovery, but she couldn't fight the idea of being well-prepared for the trip. As she stepped into the building, a different idea struck her.</p>
<p>She filled one of the smaller boxes and one pants pocket with chicken feed, then scooped five of the chicks into the largest box she had. The chicks were just beginning to lose their down and would be mature in only a few weeks - old enough to take care of themselves for the most part and not require an external heat source. They would be a valuable start to Collins's farm and she could only hope she had managed to choose at least one male among the female majority.</p>
<p>With her new treasures held carefully in the box - lid cracked open slightly - Collins left the farm building and slipped around the back of it. She was at the corner of the Sanctuary's fence system now, one of the few places lined with chain-link rather than towering walls made of concrete.</p>
<p>The single guard patrolling this side of the complex took only moments to scan the forest and what he could see of the Sanctuary before turning on his heel and ambling back along the wall in the direction of the main gate once more. Undetected, Collins was free to continue her escape.</p>
<p>The issue with chain-link was that, no matter how high the fencing stood, there would always be an unsecured edge where the chain-link met a concrete wall. The Saviors had used a length of bungee cord to lash the fence to a pole against the concrete, but it was a simple process to untie the cord and unwind it from the bottom few feet of fence until she could squeeze through.</p>
<p>Because Collins believed in covering her tracks as much as possible and saw no need to allow the dead inside the Sanctuary, she re-tied the cord behind her before she slipped into the woods.</p>
<p>With the help of her crank-powered flashlight, Collins made her way back to the place where she and the artisans had been captured by the Saviors. As an added bonus, she had found an old dog crate in the woods and the chickens got a new home. From there, it was a short walk to the place where she had shallowly buried her belongings.</p>
<p>The small pack had been placed in the largest watertight bag Collins had ever come across, and everything was undamaged. She checked that her pistol was intact - it was - and that everything was still good. As she was going through her food supply and throwing away anything that appeared to be spoiled beyond salvaging, Collins heard the sound of a vehicle approaching.</p>
<p>She ducked behind a tree, the best cover she could find on such short notice, and stayed on the opposite side of where the headlights were shining.</p>
<p>"Collins!"</p>
<p>Her heart beat even faster. Was that Negan's voice?</p>
<p>"Collins, if you can read my lips, the Sanctuary has fallen! I left, and we need to get out of here, fast."</p>
<p>Using every bit of brain power she had in her adrenaline-racing mind, Collins weighed her options. If the Saviors were going to come after Negan, they would follow the tracks left by his truck. From there, they would need only the slightest bit of luck to find Collins. But, if she got in the truck with Negan, she could hitch a ride further west, ditch him somewhere, and find a car of her own.</p>
<p>Getting in a vehicle with Negan seemed like a bad idea, but Collins had several advantages over him: she could hear, he didn't know she could hear, and she was well-armed.</p>
<p>Coming to that realization, Collins stepped around the tree, the loaded pistol in an exterior pocket of her bag. Negan spotted her within moments, beckoning her over to his truck in hurried motions.</p>
<p>Collins wedged herself, the chickens, and all of her belongings in the front seat, not knowing how quickly she would have to bail out of the truck. As an added bonus, she managed to push Lucille over and roll the bat under her feet. Now, any weapons Negan was carrying were tucked away, out of easy reach.</p>
<p>When she was all settled, Collins sent a firm nod to Negan, who raised an eyebrow even as he put the truck in gear. "Did you steal my chickens?"</p>
<p>She gave him the <em>a little</em> gesture with her forefinger and thumb and he laughed. "I saw you leave the farm building, but I didn't notice you carrying all that much." Collins cocked her head, clearly shocked, but he only laughed harder. "My bedroom windows look out over the back of the Sanctuary, remember? I happened to be at my window when you left the greenhouse. I assume you got some good shit?"</p>
<p>Collins nodded, wishing fervently that he would keep his eyes on their path. There were no roads this deep in the forest, and they were driving along a bumpy path that could well have been made by forest animals or the dead.</p>
<p>"I saw you leaving and thought, 'What the hell? I might as well leave, too.' So I packed up my stuff, some cans of food and a couple gallons of water, and told my wives to scram while they still could. They're going to be the first ones those dickwads come for when they realize I'm gone. Rather than deal with the mutiny, I figured I would just leave."</p>
<p>Negan's chatter was oddly soothing, but Collins couldn't allow herself to focus on it. Instead, she was absorbed in trying to figure out where they were. When they were close to a main road, she would have to find a way to get out of the truck. Negan would have been a good ally to start her new, sustainable life, but he was too dangerous. When he found out about Collins' secret, he was likely to react with violence. She had no choice but to leave him behind.</p>
<p>"Anyway, the Sanctuary's done for. There are some other groups around who are none too happy that the Saviors have been stealing half of their shit for so long. I want to go somewhere new, start over. This time, I want to be independent. I don't want to steal other people's stuff. Too much hassle. I want everyone invested in the future of the group, not fighting over who gets what." Negan cast a sidelong glance at Collins. "I could use a hard-working, wicked smart second-in-command to keep me above board. What do you think? I want to go wherever you're going. Want to start something new with me?"</p>
<p>Without a good answer, Collins only shrugged and Negan cheerfully patted her knee. "That's okay, think about it. We're about to hit the highway and we'll make good time from there."</p>
<p>There it was, the cue she had been dreading. It was time to put her most dangerous plan into place.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Collins pulled the pistol from her bag and pressed it to Negan's temple. He froze, both hands on the wheel - just as she wanted them.</p>
<p>"What are you doin' there, doll?" he asked slowly, gripping the steering wheel until his scarred knuckles turned white.</p>
<p>"Stop the truck and keep your hands on the wheel," Collins ordered.</p>
<p>"Come the fuck again?" Negan returned rhetorically, voice sharp and displeased - though it held an edge of amusement that made her tense. "Thought you couldn't talk, sweetheart."</p>
<p>"Stop the car, or I'll shoot you and stop it myself," Collins said clearly, only continuing after the truck began to slow. "And I never said I couldn't talk, I said I couldn't hear, which was also a lie. I needed people to underestimate me so I could find an exit. The goal was always to leave without being stopped, to head west without interference."</p>
<p>"The goal," he repeated. "You've been planning this from the minute I met you."</p>
<p>Collins laughed dryly. "Long before I met you, Negan. I had a plan in place the minute I heard about you and your Saviors. It was only bad luck I got caught with the artisans. But if there's one thing you should know about me-" Collins paused as she snapped a pair of handcuffs around Negan's wrist, connecting the other end solidly to the steering column, "-it's that I always have a plan."</p>
<p>"Mmm," Negan hummed, grinning darkly at her. He would look more at home flirting on a date than being threatened in a truck, but that was the magic of Negan, Collins supposed. "Still love to hear you say my name, doll."</p>
<p>Since the truck had fully stopped, Collins put it in park and turned off the headlights. She opened her door, careful to keep the gun aimed at Negan as she got out. "I want you to stay right here until I leave. I'll put the keys to the handcuffs - and Lucille - on that stump across the clearing. If you move before I'm done, I'll shoot. Understood?"</p>
<p>"I'm not crazy about taking' orders, but since you're so damn pretty," Negan winked as though he was not concerned in the least, but Collins could see him thinking hard about how to get the keys and Lucille while still being able to catch her. She wouldn't put it past him to figure out some way around her instructions, but she wasn't going back to the Sanctuary and she refused to be beaten to death.</p>
<p>She left her door open in another attempt to slow him down and, keeping her gun trained on him through the windshield, set the keys on top of the stump she had pointed out to him, leaning Lucille against it.</p>
<p>"You don't want to do this, Collins!" Negan called, leaning his head out of the driver's side window. "I'm not thrilled you lied to me, but I meant what I said: I want to start a new life, and I want it to be with you. Let me come with you."</p>
<p>Collins' stomach simultaneously twisted and dropped. He was attractive, there was no getting around it. More than that, he was funny and passionate, creative and clever. If there was one person she thought she would enjoy living with for the rest of her life, one person she would want to guard her back against the dead, it would be Negan... but she couldn't take the risk. He could very realistically kill her as soon as he got the chance.</p>
<p>Reluctantly, she shook her head. "I don't trust you not to hurt me. Don't drive until I get into the treeline, or I'll shoot." Collins moved toward the thickest section of trees around the clearing as she spoke.</p>
<p>True to his word, Negan stayed where he was until she had melted into the darkness, but a split second after she lowered her gun and disappeared into the treeline, the truck slammed into gear. He had crossed the clearing before a minute had passed. In his hurry to get to Lucille and the handcuff keys, Negan drove the truck directly into a nearby tree. If Collins were to judge from the hissing coming from the sputtering engine, she would say that Negan would be in need of a new ride, which meant she would need to change her own plans slightly.</p>
<p>She would let Negan run off, get completely out of her way, then take her time finding and preparing a vehicle for her journey. Hotwiring a car was not one of Collins' strong suits, and she wanted the chance to fill it completely with gasoline and supplies before she started driving. All of that would be far more easily done without having to worry about Negan right behind her.</p>
<p>Collins hid the chicken crate in a bush, covering it with branches until it was fully hidden from sight, then climbed a nearby tree that looked like it would hold her weight. She climbed until her dark clothes offered her camouflage against the night sky.</p>
<p>"Collins!" Negan shouted a final time as he stepped out of the truck, hands finally freed from the handcuffs.</p>
<p>A low, two-toned whistle echoed from various places around the clearing. It was followed by several other whistles and Negan froze, a tight set to his shoulders. Five Saviors stepped out of the trees, Dwight and Simon appearing to lead the others.</p>
<p>"Where are you going, Negan?" Simon asked casually.</p>
<p>"West," Negan replied, voice tight as he palmed Lucille's grip and swung the bat back and forth beside his boot-encased calf.</p>
<p>"With a truck and supplies stolen from the Saviors?" Dwight asked.</p>
<p>"Well, I can't exactly steal from the Saviors, Dwighty-boy," Negan drawled, hints of his old self emerging as he spoke. "I am the Saviors. Or, have you forgotten that every fucking one of you is really <em>me</em>?"</p>
<p>Collins frowned. Had she misjudged him? Was he really still part of the Saviors? Had he been trying to trick her into revealing her secret so that he could kill her with a good reason? He was the leader of the Saviors. He didn't need a good reason to do anything, but it could be...</p>
<p>Simon's laugh told her that she hadn't been wrong. Negan was no longer in charge, and the takeover hadn't been friendly. "Maybe you started the Saviors, Negan, but we're past you now. You're not one of us anymore."</p>
<p>Negan laughed harder, doing his signature backwards lean with Lucille braced against the ground behind him. "If you know that, you know that you can't fire me - I already fucking quit."</p>
<p>"No one wants you left alive," Dwight said sharply. "The Saviors think you're going to come back and kill us all, burn down the Sanctuary or something."</p>
<p>"You know, this is the second time tonight someone's told me they don't trust me. Why doesn't anyone trust me?" The frustration was plain in Negan's voice. "I've never been a liar."</p>
<p>With a nod from Simon, all five men moved closer. Negan drew a pistol from the small of his back and fired twice, killing one man and wounding another. The closest man approached as though he and Negan were going to fistfight and Negan hit him away with an easy swing of Lucille, crushing his skull a moment later.</p>
<p>Simon and Dwight took aim from opposite sides of Negan as the third Savior tried to fire his weapon and it made a dissatisfying <em>click!</em> Collins shot Simon from her vantage point in the tree while Negan took care of Dwight. The last Savior ducked away from Lucille's swing, but stumbled as he did, and ended up kneeling in front of the grinning Negan.</p>
<p>"Wait. Wait!" he pleaded, raising his arms up. Negan slowly rested Lucille against his shoulder to stare down at the man. Encouraged by the reaction, the Savior said, "I can help you get the Sanctuary back. I can sneak you back in, and now that Simon and Dwight are dead, you can take over again. Stronger than before. We'll even get the deaf girl back if you want her. You'll have all the control, all the power, everything you could ever want. Just don't kill me."</p>
<p>Negan stayed silent longer than Collins was comfortable with, but his back was facing her, so she couldn't read his face.</p>
<p>"Well, now," he finally drawled, "that's a real tempting offer… A <em>damn</em> tempting offer. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass. I want to try something new: building a place from the ground up, supporting myself. Not having to threaten every moron who thinks his dick is too big to take orders. And I'm going to go build it with someone I actually respect. Even if she drives me fucking crazy. But you'll have to excuse me. I need to go find her before she gets too far ahead of me."</p>
<p>"Where are you going to go?" the Savior asked desperately as Negan hefted Lucille once more. "The Saviors own everything around here and you aren't one of us anymore."</p>
<p>"West," Negan told him simply, bringing Lucille down on his head once - twice - three times. With the Savior's body still twitching in the dirt behind him, Negan strode off in the direction where Collins had entered the treeline. As he stepped into the last bit of forest before the highway, he shouted her name again.</p>
<p>At the start of everything, Collins hadn't made a plan for what to do if the fearsome Negan wanted to come with her. His strength and cunning would come in handy as she attempted to build an independent life. He could even win additional people to her side. And if anyone tried to steal or destroy what they had built, he was more than vicious enough to frighten them away with Lucille's help.</p>
<p>But did she trust him enough to live in his company for - potentially - the rest of either of their lives?</p>
<p>With a start, she realized that she did. Something in his voice when he spoke about wanting a fresh start, when he had asked to come with her, even now as he shouted her name through the forest… She believed him. Bringing someone with her had never been part of Collins' plan, but maybe it was time for her to take a step back from her carefully coordinated life.</p>
<p>By the time she had come to that realization, shimmied down from the tree, and collected her belongings, Collins was far behind Negan's retreating back.</p>
<p>"Hey, wait up!" she panted when she was a few steps behind him.</p>
<p>Negan turned, brandishing Lucille only inches from Collins' face. She stared at the bat's bloodied barrel, internally cursing herself for straying from the plan and waiting for Negan to start beating her skull in. She finally decided to change and now she would die for it...</p>
<p>"Oh, it's you," Negan said casually, slinging Lucille back against his shoulder. "I haven't started to recognize your voice yet, sweetheart. Are you ready to go?"</p>
<p>In response, Collins walked purposefully to a promising-looking Jeep. There weren't any dead inside, and while the interior smelled musty, it was far better than the stench of rotting flesh. "You know how to hotwire a car?"</p>
<p>"You bet I do," Negan returned with a grin.</p>
<p>"Good. I'm going to siphon some fuel. I'll be back and we can hit the road."</p>
<p>In a half hour of work for Collins and only a short few minutes for Negan, they had loaded up the Jeep with everything the two had brought, as well as several gallons of gasoline from the surrounding cars.</p>
<p>To Collins' surprise, Negan got into the passenger seat without hesitation. She watched him curiously for a moment. When he noticed, he gave a shrug. "This is your operation, Collins. You drive, and I'll take care of any problems we run into."</p>
<p>As she drove carefully into the median to avoid the cars gridlocked on the highway, Collins frowned. "We have a car, but it's going to take a while to find a place. We have a long way to go and it'll take even longer to get everything set up. It's going to be a hard life for the foreseeable future. Are you sure you want to come along? I can drop you off anywhere that looks promising. You can even take the car if you really want to."</p>
<p>"I'm coming with you, sweetheart. I think you're gonna do important things and I want to be there to see them. Besides," he said, staring out through the windshield with a stupid little smile, "I've got everything I want right here."</p>
<p>Collins glanced over at him and couldn't hold back a chuckle. "That was cheesy."</p>
<p>Negan looked offended. "Ex-fucking-scuse me? I am not cheesy. I am intimidating and violent and funny as hell!"</p>
<p>"We'll have to see about all of that," Collins commented, deliberately looking unimpressed. "Most people get less funny over an extended time."</p>
<p>"Over an <em>extended</em> time? Oh, doll, I knew you'd let me come along," Negan purred.</p>
<p>"On a trial basis," she answered shortly.</p>
<p>Negan laughed aloud at that. "Oh, Collins! If you haven't been able to ditch me so far, what makes you think you'll be able to later on? Face it, sweetheart: you're stuck with me."</p>
<p>"That's what I'm worried about," she groaned.</p>
<p>The jibe was insincere. If Negan was always like this, she would gladly have him along for the entire process of building a new life and keeping it safe. Still, her barbs and his flirtations kept the teasing conversation alive as they drove down the highway, opposite the rising sun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author's Note - Well, that's the end! For those of you who have read my other works, I often choose a few writing mechanics to focus on during each story. The mechanics for this one were massive character change (Negan), body language and nonverbal communication, lack of OC physical description, and non-physical romance. Upon rereading this story for editing, I realized that it can be interpreted as not being a romance at all, which is honestly fine with me. It was more a character study about Negan in a time of shifting responsibilities, but it was intended as a romance. That being said, I may eventually write a one-shot with Negan at his full "Leader of the Saviors" best since he's just such a vivid character at that point in the show!</p>
<p>Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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